You Are Not Alone

Unplugging from the Matrix: Regaining Control Over Our Screens and Lives

Debbie and Greg Gold Season 1 Episode 21

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Who's steering our lives today? Us or our screens? Today's enlightening episode is a deep dive into our relationship with technology and its impact on our daily lives and relationships. We're stripping back the layers on the advantages technology offers and the hazards that lurk beneath. From the influence of digital devices on our kids to the risks involved with digital currency and hacking - we're opening the lid on it all. We'll be asking some hard questions, like, are our screens becoming our idols, obsessions, or even, addictions?

We're also sharing our personal journeys of reducing our screen time and the profound impact it's had on our lives. We’ll talk about how to break free from the digital chains and claw back control over our screens. Replacing screen time with more fulfilling activities is the order of the day! We'll be taking you through some practical, simple strategies to achieve this. We want to help you find the balance and make technology a tool, not a master! So, get onboard this thought-provoking journey - it's time to analyze your screen habits and decide how much of it you really want in your life!

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to another episode of the you Are Not Alone podcast. My name is Debbie Gold and I'm here with my co-host and son, greg, and we are so glad that you're here with us. Each week on this show we will talk about informative issues, issues that will make you think and help you grow. It is our wish that you will find hope, encouragement and a little visit Jesus in every episode. Hey y'all, welcome. Welcome back to the show. Glad you're here today. Greg and I did take a little bit of a break.

Speaker 2:

It was a little two week break. She's mom's been working on another project and she's been working hard on it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, been gone a lot and had to put my attention there for a little bit. It's almost wrapped up, but wanted to get back to the podcast for sure, because we have great things to say and want to share Something more episodes to do and something more topics and stuff like that. Right, but today we're going to be talking about technology detox, the control temptations, the dangers of it. Who's really in control of our screens?

Speaker 2:

Or is the screen in control of you?

Speaker 1:

Yes, exactly so. We are in a world of screens clearly, it's everywhere Devices and digital distractions, and it's easy to get lost in them. And they do provide connection, they provide excitement, they provide escape and, through the screen, the world is at our fingertips. But at what cost? So my question is this Are we truly more connected? Is this technology doing to our minds, our lives and our relationships?

Speaker 2:

There's so much to go off that, because there's the good and the bad and the ugly, just like the movie, because you've seen how the world has advanced with technology. You can pay at the grocery store with just tapping your phone or something like that, tapping a card to the machine. You've seen the gas station. There's this one gas station where you put your food on the thing and it tells you how much it costs or whatever.

Speaker 1:

You put on a pad and it gives you the total. You showed me that.

Speaker 2:

I was like are you kidding me?

Speaker 1:

And you can select pay for cash and stick your money in, or you can just put your card in.

Speaker 2:

There's digital currency and stuff like that, so there's a lot of good from it, but then there's also the bad, where kids are as young as six years old, have access to iPhones, the entire internet, which has everything you could ever think of on it yeah, which is so scary? Yeah, because their minds don't know, their young minds don't know. And if they see something like that they can't decipher good bad and they can't tell which is which.

Speaker 2:

So there's that If your bank account is online and it gets hacked, that's another thing, because I've been in times where I've had to make landscape transactions with my money and if it doesn't go through, it's gone because it's electronic, you send it off to the wrong person by accident.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, something like that. You can't get it back. Yeah, exactly Like Venmo.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then there's the ugly part too, where it can take control of people's lives. It can do damage, but it can also do a lot of good.

Speaker 1:

So it's like a two-edge sword. Double-edge sword, for sure. Yeah, double-edge sword, yeah. So are we really in control of our screens or are they an obsession? Are they an idol? Are?

Speaker 2:

they an addiction.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, good question.

Speaker 2:

I feel like they can be.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Absolutely. I could say it's, for me personally Obsession. It can be an idol and it can be an addiction. In the Bible, the Lord says you shall have no idols before me. And yeah, that really makes me think. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So a lot of people can idolize movies, video games a lot of stuff.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you can idol a lot of things. Yeah. But if you put all that before God, then that it doesn't really mean anything because it's really not real. Well, but it's also the Bible says not to do that Exactly. So when I'm playing video games and I'm putting my time, am I getting my time in with the Lord, that kind of thing? And if I'm not, well, that's become an idol for me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I'm not really sure what you're saying like that, anyway.

Speaker 1:

so it's time, I think, that we just reevaluate our use, and that is what we're going to talk about today. Did I mention that I was at church three or four weeks ago in this sermon? This is what they talked about in the sermon. It was so powerful.

Speaker 2:

You came home with this piece of paper and you were like I'm going to start this tech detox thing and I was like, okay, I've heard of that before, kind of, and I've just seen you go through it and you've just become a productive bunny.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I know it's crazy, it is so true.

Speaker 2:

It's up at six and a one. I'm like whoa.

Speaker 1:

I don't know how I had so much energy. It's insane, yeah, anyway, but that's exactly true, greg, yeah, so do you have control of your digital device, or do they have control over you? So here's a little thing I would like you to do Go ahead and get your phone out. Everyone that's listening, and you too, greg, please. And if you go to, I'm doing an iPhone, but you all know how to do this on your phone, but you go to settings.

Speaker 2:

Is it screen time?

Speaker 1:

We talked a little bit about this in an earlier episode that we did on this, so my daily average is five hours and 14 minutes.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so it uses about four hours and 17 minutes, so that's not that bad, and that's for today.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, it just popped up to 451.

Speaker 2:

See all activity. 27% down from last week.

Speaker 1:

And you can do the day-to-days, you can click on those you can do like your most used. Right. So there's a lot of information and we're not going to sit and go through all of that, but I would. Later in the episode we're going to talk about how you can start evaluating what's going on with your screen time, but this is a great place to go to Just to check it out. And check it out.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so yeah, that's how I got it. Let's move on. Sorry, I was going to add something and I decided not to. Do you ever do that Kind of fumble over your words?

Speaker 2:

You're just thinking eh, forget about it.

Speaker 1:

Never mind, I don't think that's a good place for that. So here's what I want. I want you to ask yourself am I in control of my phone or is my phone in control of me? And your challenge for today is this Everyone to take charge of your screen habits. And I want you to critically analyze and evaluate your screen use by using what we just talked about. Technology gives us so much, but it's up to us to decipher what and how much we want in our lives. There's so much for us to do on our phones. It's like over the top, right? I mean, there's not enough time in a day to be on your phone all day long and still get to use everything that it can do, right? So One way to to evaluate yourself is think about you know what you're using, like your apps.

Speaker 2:

I.

Speaker 1:

Guess that would be. You know your email.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, like are you using your phone to use it. Mm-hmm, Just playing with it right, exactly.

Speaker 1:

So what is helpful? Look at, look at the apps that are helpful for you, like for me. It's like life 360, so I can track the family, see where everybody is. Calendar app calendar app yeah my calculator. Yep. My email app is good for me.

Speaker 2:

Let's see messages. Um, I guess some social media Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

Not like all social media, I guess like what would be a helpful one, or a use of a helpful? Yeah, excellent.

Speaker 2:

I have the Bible app. That's a good one.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

Um, I have the podcast out, the Apple podcast out.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

You should download that you can listen to this one here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah right, I mean, I'm a fitness app.

Speaker 2:

I don't use that, but I mean I could be useful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I mean, there's a lot of good things.

Speaker 2:

You can use it for right, you know.

Speaker 1:

So those are the things that maybe are helpful. Then there's things that are mandatory, mandatory, and that's any games on here.

Speaker 2:

I Don't. Well, I've grown up, that's yeah. I Was like, wow, I don't have any games on my phone. That's crazy.

Speaker 1:

So the other thing is what, what's mandatory? So we talked about what is helpful, think about those, those apps, and then what is mandatory for me?

Speaker 2:

mandatory is like a long clock. Long clock. Yes, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Scoop my school like Getting Notices from the high school about.

Speaker 1:

You know homecoming is coming up and all you know all that stuff and what's happening in the school community, yeah, my financial management apps, like our bank and our investments, and I have apps for all that, for my work. I I have rental properties, so you know I've got to be able to Message, let people message me and get in communication with me and vice versa. For you, mandatory would be your college apps. If you have college apps, or your, your I don't know what else college apps.

Speaker 2:

I mean some colleges have like school apps.

Speaker 1:

Like you said, you downloaded next door, looking for potential work.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, for small job, yeah, yes, you can use a lot of resources, so and then there's what are the apps that are your time sucks and that for me is, you know, just a waste of time period. And I came to decide that my my gaming, for me, gaming Candy Crush, any word games that I would play, those those became a waste of time for me, a real time suck, and and anyway, I'll tell you what I decided to do with all that. But so, things that really suck up your time, but it really not necessary.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm, I feel like YouTube is like it's good and bad for me too, because I listened to like podcasts and people talk on YouTube, yeah, and I also learned like videos about the world and like current events and stuff like that too. But then I can also like go down this rabbit hole watching one video that's like useless, you know it's just kills time or something. And then I click on the next video and then it kills time. So you kind of have to like control it.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, yeah, you can get down that you can. Yeah, cycle of addiction and yeah, in a moment there Are useless, you know but you could be watching videos.

Speaker 2:

I'd, you know, tell you something or you learn something from it so yeah, so that can be a Gotta.

Speaker 1:

Learn how to manage that when you don't want to get rid of it don't want to but you want to use it for things that can be productive and helpful and Increase your knowledge.

Speaker 2:

I think that's what you use a lot of that for yeah, so that mean I learned so much from just listening to other people talk, right so that and that's the other, so that's the other thing, what needs to be limited?

Speaker 1:

YouTube is a good example of that. So, basically, think about what's helpful, what is mandatory, what is a time sucker, a waste of time for you, and what needs to be limited.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

So That'll be a good exercise for you. All of us were supposed to come together with the promise of technology, and I remember it was in 1993 that the internet came out. Yeah, and then in 1999, texting was introduced let's, let's communicate, let's text instead of picking up the phone, because picking up the phone takes a lot more time. 2006, social media started with Facebook, and so you know, there's all these promises that it's gonna bring us all together. But I think I would beg to differ there, because we have become maybe more divided than ever before.

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

You know, I think that you know at home, maybe even politically. Do you have any thoughts of how? Maybe we've become more divided?

Speaker 2:

Oh my, gosh, fake media, biased news, biased media, social media companies with a left or a right agenda. Um, I mean, it's everywhere.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And with the, so the use of social media. That's where it's being spread, good or bad, but right now politics it's just bad. So because that's how they divide people bad stuff, so they're just forcing it all over social media.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't remember politics ever being so divided as they are today. It's almost like it's a right or a wrong.

Speaker 2:

I remember it's a good or a bad you know, when I was like younger and Obama was in president, you know some people like disagreed with him and stuff. I thought that, um, but nobody was at each other's throats like this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so it's insane today it's gone way too far. Yeah, that just I'm reminded to turn my phone down. Oh, that was me, okay, um, all right, so let's see, I think I want to share. I would love to share actually, that, some of the commitments, what the church had given us a handout, and I want to share, and they asked us to do it just for seven days to see what your world felt like.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

So you know, just take it seven days, mm. Hmm, I said no technology use except for work related tasks.

Speaker 2:

Which is pretty hard.

Speaker 1:

So I did not go to. I did not go to like my Facebook or my Instagram.

Speaker 2:

Do you use the news or anything?

Speaker 1:

Well, I could. So my big downfall was watching the news and playing Candy Crush, yeah, and I could spend a couple hours to doing that every day, and I decided that that was a waste of my time, and so what I did was social media was for work only so posting our podcasts on Facebook, on Instagram, you know new, new podcast dropped, kind of thing. I took all my game apps off my phone.

Speaker 2:

You did.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and the other thing I didn't want to do anymore, because sometimes I'd lay in bed and watch TV at night before I fell asleep and I couldn't fall asleep and so I mean it would keep me up. The truth is, it kept me up longer. I was in denial about that, but I would not go into my bedroom and I would just go straight to bed. That was it.

Speaker 2:

Huh, wow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then I even took Nextdoor off. I've got it back on because I'm trying to buy some different kinds of furniture and different things for this project, but I did that as well. So, and then the apps that I said I needed to use because they were in that mandatory category or the helpful category, and that was like the high school, my emails, music, because music you got to have for me, I got to have Christian music or country you too. Yeah, dead music. Yeah, dead music.

Speaker 2:

The weather I got to have.

Speaker 1:

I got to know what's going on with the weather. I got to have my travel apps. Dad and I went on our road trip, so I needed my Google Maps and all that stuff.

Speaker 1:

I need my banking stuff and my podcast, like you had mentioned too. So what happened from all of that was my life really changed a lot. I was going to bed earlier, I was getting up earlier. As a result, I was more productive because I wasn't playing games upon awakening and I would get into the office and start working on my things that I do, yeah, so it just my whole life changed, changed, it just changed, and for me, it was just more being more productive. I think the other side of all of this is so you're going to have more time on your hands, right?

Speaker 2:

A lot more.

Speaker 1:

Have to think about what you're going to do with it, and some of the things that I did was spending more time with God in studying the Bible and doing Bible studies and praying. I went to Barnes and Nobles and I picked up a couple books so I could read. You have to have something to do right, and I chose not to do the books on audiobooks or any of that. I really wanted to have that physical book and since then I've also joined a book club. So now I'm committed to reading and, I think, spending more time with friends and neighbors.

Speaker 2:

That's another good thing, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I paint One of the things I want to still do, which I haven't, but painting the office here that we're sitting in and I've actually been working out at the gym a lot more. I'm pretty consistent with three and four times a week. So it's in the keyword. There was consistent.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it has to be consistent. Yeah, because it wasn't before. Yeah, consistency is the best way to do it at the gym. Because once you start, you just can't stop. It's hard to stop, so you're in that cycle.

Speaker 1:

So what would be some things if you were to cut back on, and maybe where would you cut back?

Speaker 2:

Let's Okay, you always get on me about the gaming. I mean, I don't know, it gets me upset because it's like, okay, you're kicking me off the video games. Okay, I'm like.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I'm not gonna say anything to you which you feel guilty, and then you'd get off.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but it's like it's kind of just fun. I wake up and explore the mountains. I mean, you don't get it at all, I get it.

Speaker 1:

That's what I did with Candy Crush. I wake up, I'm telling I know exactly what you're going through.

Speaker 2:

You're not alone. You have to experience, like the beauty of the game to kind of understand it. So, but it's hard, it's hard, but cutting back, I guess, on gaming, I guess sometimes, and more like more informational stuff on YouTube, I guess, and less videos that just waste my time.

Speaker 1:

So you know, just random stuff, Random stuff.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So Okay, and then also maybe other things like upset, like like you were talking today about getting, you know, trying to pick up some little jobs, and I mean, that's the next one. That's something.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

Make some easy side money so, and I love doing that stuff.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

That sounds good. So I just kind of, I guess, want to just say that tech takes away from our attention.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, yeah, it does.

Speaker 1:

And you know, it's a screen versus being with a friend or being with family, or it's a screen versus serving in the community.

Speaker 2:

Another thing that you could do more Can I say something about that attention span thing? So take talk, you know, take talk, everybody knows Take talk. You love it or hate it. I hate it. Um, it's like seven to I believe it's seven seconds to 15 seconds video clips, which is like the max you can do. So, imagine every single video that you see is like seven to 15 seconds. That's really quick, right? Yeah, the next video comes up, you just scroll, like that and then seven to 15 seconds.

Speaker 2:

So each video seven seconds one, two, three you're just scrolling your attention span after a full day of like eight hours of just this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Your attention span just goes to crap. It's why I see so many kids in class like at school, just bare, just like. Hold on Holy cow Right. Wow, we're having younger kids with attention deficit problems. Today we're having more um, I mean prescriptions are being pumped out to younger kids with attention span issues and stuff.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, take the phone away, he's six. Right.

Speaker 2:

He's a little younger.

Speaker 1:

Well, you get mesmerized into that.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, yeah, and that's the addiction right there. Yeah, that's it. I mean I can go on Instagram and just do do do, do, do do so. It's insane. So just your attention span just goes to mush.

Speaker 1:

It's making me dizzy, yeah. I mean, I don't do that, but yeah, but I can see people doing it.

Speaker 2:

I found Chase asleep with his phone on his face.

Speaker 1:

He does and his.

Speaker 2:

TikTok was still on. He was like he was just repeating the same sound. I was like how is he not in his face? Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so, yeah, so you, you know, love our technology, but it's cool, but you got to respect it, you got to have it.

Speaker 2:

You got to use with responsibility.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Just like the little beer warnings drink responsibly.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

It should have not with technology. Yeah, it's responsibly it's totally Something like that.

Speaker 1:

That's a great idea, yeah, okay. So yeah, how much time is taking, how much is technology or the screens taking from your, your life? I think technology is great for learning, advancing your life, you know, being productive, furthering and then finally, a four to勿 engage in the world of science and climate change in nature. Oh, wow, so you got it all together. So I think연, oh, hmm, and we can talk a little further, okay, okay, and then like this so it's evidence, aaron, you have to continue right now. Right, okay, I thought saying this was smart For this year. I kinda wonder what effort was gonna take against technology and I just I can't. They put a. They would put a video at a church. They put a video up, say, two people sitting, like two friends, are at lunch and what do you? What do you guys do when you're together? Not you and your buddy. I've seen young people and I see older. I see everybody do it, all ages like waiting on my food or something.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, say you're waiting for your food at a restaurant with a friend.

Speaker 2:

Oh, let's say your mom me, me and my body are at Taco. Yeah, we're waiting.

Speaker 1:

What are you doing?

Speaker 2:

Typically checking the time checking, checking the time when I have to be back. Yeah, sometimes talking to him, and then we get our food and then we put your phones down.

Speaker 1:

Okay, but like, but you still are on your phone sometimes. Yeah, I've seen.

Speaker 2:

I've seen signs, examples, where it's like a 90 year old couple. It's like the grandparents are eating out with the daughter daughters on an iPad, you know.

Speaker 1:

I'm just eating.

Speaker 2:

I'm like you guys don't know how lucky you are. You know, chairs that time with their grandparents right.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, and if you were to take that phone away, you know what that would look like.

Speaker 2:

Meltdown, or well, just imagine.

Speaker 1:

I'm trying. I'm not explaining this well. So let's let's say there's two people sitting together. What's a good example? Eating, eating together and you're eating, but you're on your phone constantly Erase, erase that phone. It's gonna look like this no one's looking at each other. Yeah they're sitting there like looking at their hand. They're looking down, yeah, they're looking down, and there's no eye contact.

Speaker 2:

There's none, yeah, yeah, conversation is hard to get by nowadays.

Speaker 1:

So whenever you go out and just observe people, it's crazy just sit there and watch them and imagine that they're when they're on their phones, like that. Imagine those phones be being blank, yeah, invisible, thank you. And and it's gonna look funny yeah, that's not how we're created I just realized how many people are on their phones.

Speaker 2:

It's like, oh my goodness, it's crazy.

Speaker 1:

It is nuts, it really is.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, when you look at like how many people, like People are waiting in mind. If there's on their phones people are crossing the street, they're on their phone Like you're crossing the street. You're on your phone Like what's your safety first?

Speaker 1:

Anyway. So I have to say tech is dangerous and it's with us 24-7. Do we spend any time with anybody in our lives 24-7? No, no, but our phones. It's interesting, it's highly addictive, right? It stimulates the good hormones and, you know, wants us to come back and get more and it keeps you locked in and it's manipulative. Anyway, I want everyone to really consider what we were talking about today and think about putting yourself in control of your Screen mm-hmm today.

Speaker 1:

So, um, yeah, here's a couple, just a couple things you can maybe Consider to sit at lunch with a friend with your phone down, like so just don't pick that phone up. Yeah, how hard is that gonna be? Yeah, but if you, I think it's become such a habit to start, or to pick up that phone and just see what's going on real quick I'm so go have lunch with a friend or someone in your family and leave the phone in your bag.

Speaker 2:

Your car or something. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

At night, when you go to bed, leave the phone in the kitchen.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, just trying yourself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, just try some different things. Be a passenger in a car and leave your phone down. Don't, don't touch your phone talk to the driver put it in the glove compartment if you have to, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, right steps you have to take.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so lots of information today, I think. But this, to me, was life-changing and, honestly, it wasn't really that hard for me. I mean it honestly. It wasn't hard because I did. I identified some things that I can, you know, use to replace my time that I was on my phone and once I had that, my head wrapped around that. You know Working out more reading in books. You know finding projects I can do. It wasn't bad at all, because I do like to keep myself busy. You know that, yeah, and so I'm happy and I'm productive and I feel like I have my life back.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, yeah well, good so I guess that's our show for today and we're glad you were here listening. Try to encourage your friends to follow us and Hit the subscribe button right.

Speaker 2:

If you're listening to this, you can. I mean, I already said, subscribe, but share with your friends. Let us know what you think. Leave a comment, right, yeah?

Speaker 1:

Anyway, well, thanks again for being here today. We love you guys and hope this was helpful. And remember you are not alone, oh.