You Are Not Alone
Our purpose is to help people of all ages navigate life. As a mother and son team, Debbie and Greg come together to talk about the realities and struggles all of us face in today’s world. They cover a wide array of topics from mental health to current events to teaching on topics that help us do life. As Christians, they know there is one thing that brings peace, hope, and encouragement to anything life throws at us, and that is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Come along on the ride to learn what this means and how to get it. Your heart and life will be changed forever!
You Are Not Alone
Victim Mentality: The impact on society and our individual lives
Have you ever wondered about the pervasive impact of the victim mentality on our society and individual lives? This episode takes you on an introspective journey as we analyze this mindset and its profound effects. We dissect how it seeps into our day-to-day actions and our political decisions, often averting growth and progress. Diving into the detrimental effects of blaming others and shirking personal responsibility, we also delve into how our voting behavior may be influenced by this mindset.
Bracing ourselves for a contentious discussion, we explore the rationalization of looting under the guise of necessity. We examine how victim mentality may cloud the vision of potential legal alternatives and hinder the birth of entrepreneurial ideas. Alongside, we emphasize the necessity of a unifying national leader who can guide citizens towards unity and progress. This episode is sure to leave you with some food for thought.
Wrapping up, we accentuate the significance of staying informed, aware, and accountable for our actions. We question the decision-making behind the allocation of our tax money and the consequences of illegal immigration. The plight of veterans and the overwhelmed sanctuary cities also take center stage. We conclude with a shift in perspective towards life. Understanding the power of a positive mindset, we discuss how it can unlock new possibilities and help us achieve our full potential. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that's bound to leave you with a fresh perspective.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the you Are Not Alone podcast. My name is Debbie Gold and I'm here with my co-host and son, greg. We are so glad that you're here with us. Each week on this show we will talk about informative issues, issues that will make you think and help you grow. It is our wish that you will find hope, encouragement and a little bit of Jesus in every episode.
Speaker 2:Welcome back everyone. It's Greg here and today's episode. I want to start it off.
Speaker 1:I'm here too, by the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Mom's here so.
Speaker 2:I just got out of class yesterday and our discussion was interesting. We were on I don't know a new unit or something and we were talking about this one article yesterday. It was called Transitions and it was talking about this girl who had this just negative mindset about herself. This entire story, basically and it was her going through the transitioning process of changing genders and there were many examples in the story where I just felt like just so icked by it because something bugged me with it. And there were some examples to where she was like on the subway right and she's riding the subway home or something, and there's people that are staring at her and noticing her and she's noticing this and she's creating this internal conflict in her head, saying, oh, they're judging me, oh, this might not be good, oh, my gosh. So she's like creating this internal storm in her head when it's just creating something out of nothing that they might be staring at her because they think she's prettier or something like that. So it's just.
Speaker 2:I want to talk about a victim mentality.
Speaker 2:That's the main point of this episode and the main thing I want to discuss and how we can tie it into different things in her everyday life, because this was one example where this girl just kept having just negative thoughts and she just downplayed herself. Some days I look great, other days I look like a mess. Today's one of those days. Sometimes I can pass, sometimes I can't. And it just seemed like she was putting this in her head that she was so victimized in so many ways when in reality, she talked to two or three people in this entire story, but it felt like she had been judged by hundreds and it was just like, oh my God, it just. I got out of that classroom and I was like what a way to live your life, because it's like you're just in a constant thunderstorm of people judging you, you're putting negative comments, just never being a happy person having a good attitude, just always downplaying things and having this victim mindset, and I think it's really destructive and I thought we should talk about it today.
Speaker 1:Just my one thought that comes to mind in hearing you she's just never going to be happy it sounded like it really did, and I don't think she'll be happy being a he or she, or I mean she's just got some internal stuff going on there, exactly.
Speaker 2:It sounded like you even said it dragged you down because of this negative mindset and if just reading that one story, imagine what her everyday life is. If she's just negative, negative, negative, negative, it can't be good. No.
Speaker 1:And imagine how that affects her relationships.
Speaker 2:Her world, her relationships, yeah, everything it can't be good. So it was astounding to me how some people can live their lives with just a victim mindset like that. I mean, I've heard of it before, but I wasn't really aware of it to this extent.
Speaker 1:It opened your eyes to the whole concept of being a victim mentality.
Speaker 2:On the internet. I was looking at some research where, as victim mentality is based on a perceived reality, that something is going to happen based on the past experiences, either real or perceived Right. So it's like creating internal conflicts or creating conflicts that might not even exist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because this is not something we're born with. No, this is based on experiences traumas. Things that happen to us in our lives.
Speaker 2:Lessons, relationships, whatever that may be.
Speaker 1:And I think one of the characteristics of or maybe two you tend to blame others.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you Don't take accountability. Mm-hmm for yourself and for your thoughts and for your beliefs and the things that you do.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, exactly yeah, because it's always why this, why that, why, why did this?
Speaker 1:why I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why me? You know stuff like that, never taking account accountability for anything.
Speaker 1:I mean just even throwing all that out there and saying those things that we just said. You know, I'm just like oh yeah, how could you be happy if you're always like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah right, lacking trust is another one.
Speaker 2:You know, Not reaching out or, you know, not trusting people's terrible. You know, it's like I feel like they will judge me if I do this and this and this. You feel like you will judge or you feel like people will judge you. You feel that way. You don't know that for sure. And having that attitude of people might or they will, you know that's you're, you're saying that they might, when you don't even know. You know you're just saying that to. You know, try to Get that out of the way or deny it. So, and that can. That can also be destructive too if you don't reach out to anybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah for sure. Mm-hmm, it's like no one understands. Therefore, I can never trust anyone, you know. So you were watching the Debate one of the other nights, right?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, last night was the Republican Debates, so these are the GOP candidates that are seeking the Republican nomination for president right to be able to run against the.
Speaker 2:Democrats the Democrat that is selected as the. Democratic nomination yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the nomination. So when you were talking about this victim mentality, I was like you know that really can tie into the voting and our elections coming up, and all of that because I need to yeah, it's easy for you know.
Speaker 1:So we have, you know, joe Biden in office right now, and it's easy for someone to complain. You know, I'm so stressed over the, the financial, or you know, the, the cost of everything and the economics of the world to the era of the country today, and you know, did you vote for Joe Biden? Did you not vote for Joe Biden?
Speaker 2:Did you do your research Did?
Speaker 1:you do your research to where were you last election in all of this and Did you not even vote at all. And you're sitting here today complaining about economic.
Speaker 1:You know how the economy is exactly so there's a lot of it's just it's an interesting thing, but I Wanted to. They were talking about some stats last night and I think the important thing is you need to ask yourself this you know what's important to me and I'm really wanting to encourage everyone to start paying attention to what's going on politically in this country and Be able to take a stand. It totally matters. Every vote, every person in this country is, is important and has a voice, exactly and they need to get out there and show it with their vote.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm and you know. Ask yourself what's important right because that's how we do. You know how we avoid having a victim mentality. What's important to me? What are my values?
Speaker 2:What are my needs?
Speaker 1:What are my needs? Yeah, you know, am I that college student that is really hoping to get that $10 loan?
Speaker 2:Forgiveness, forgiveness loan, yeah.
Speaker 1:What's $10,000 out of the big bucket and chances are it probably won't come to fruition. You know the big bucket of your loans.
Speaker 2:Right, but like if you're complaining about the economic state of the world, maybe for next election look at which president or which candidate has you know the best ideas, the best ideas for, let's say To fix it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, to fix it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's say you care about the environment or something. Look at one of the president or the candidates that care about environment on stuff.
Speaker 1:the most Right.
Speaker 2:That's one of their highlights of their presidential campaign. You know, obviously, of the environment.
Speaker 1:Or like crime. Is that important to you? Yeah, is that?
Speaker 2:very important to you. Look at people that are very tough on crime you know, for instance, or the border.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, how do you feel about?
Speaker 2:the border crisis.
Speaker 1:Border being open and people just coming in? Yeah, and you know where do you stand on that?
Speaker 2:I want to say I feel like another point that I was just thinking about of victim mentality, is it's rampant in our society today, and I mean rampant. You know how in California, New York, you can walk out of a supermarket with $900 worth of stuff. Max Mm-hmm and they won't arrest you, they won't chase you. Yep why?
Speaker 1:is that happening.
Speaker 2:Why am I still paying for things when other people are doing that? You know, and it's because people are soft on crime and people are getting away with things because they're realizing I can do this Right, you know. Well, I think it goes back.
Speaker 1:That goes ties into your values. I mean I I've my value is you're honest, you don't steal Mm-hmm you work hard for what you have, mm-hmm. You don't just walk into a store, even if I could get away with it. I lived in California I would never do that. Mm-hmm, many people wouldn't. Yeah, so the people that are doing it? Yeah, should be listening, yeah, but it's like people.
Speaker 2:Government officials of California have even said these people are stealing and looting because they want bread and food to feed their families. And then I looked into it and the latest store that was looted it was a Best Buy.
Speaker 1:What's up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what type?
Speaker 1:of food, tvs, computers. Laptop Targets too Targets, oh yeah, best Buy.
Speaker 2:But Best Buy has. Each item at Best Buy is hundreds yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that makes you think what are they really using this stuff for? And they're using this excuse to get items and stuff like that. They're using this mentality of we need food to feed our families and they're taking advantage of the system. Right, so it's like a victim mentality you know we need this for this and this, but then they're really just smashing yeah because we don't have money.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, we need that. That's a victim mentality. It's like take control of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your situation Figure out how to get a job.
Speaker 1:Right Get yourself back in school somehow. Mm-hmm, there can be plenty of alternative solutions If you know how to go into a store and you can put all this thinking into how am I going to pull this off, right? I think, you can sit down and figure out.
Speaker 2:No, but yeah there's brains that go into that stuff too.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Big time. Um, if you're into selling like, let's say, you're a looter or a smash and grabber If you're just doing robberies and you're selling stolen equipment, turn it into a legal hustle. Sell actual electronic equipment that's yours or something. You buy it and then you flip it for twice the price Mm-hmm, you do something that contributes.
Speaker 2:You start making money off. That you know I mean but it's like having this victim mentality and just continuing to just do this road to. You know, get out a free jail card. It's like it doesn't teach anybody that, it doesn't teach anyone anything and it just continues for criminals and people to do this stuff Right.
Speaker 1:So you know, people are smart. I mean, I don't care, you don't you know everybody in this world is smart.
Speaker 2:They have a brain, yeah they have a brain, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And I've been noticing this on Facebook. Because not on Facebook? Um, the next door, because I've been looking for like patio furniture and stuff for um, for, uh, for us, and so, um, I see I've been seeing lately because, okay, summer's ending, all of the patio furniture is being clearanced in.
Speaker 1:Home Depot's and the you know the stores. Right Online I've been seeing all these patio furniture like tables, brand new in a box, never opened, and I'm going they've gone. It 15 bucks, no, they've gone. They'll keep it under retail price a little bit, but you know, they went into the big store. They're stolen no, they're not stolen.
Speaker 1:They went into the. Well, maybe they went into the big store. They paid, you know, half off, 75% off, and now they're putting it out to sell it. Now that's smart. They're trying to sell it brand new in a box, but they only paid. You know, say they paid $25 and now they're, they're gonna make a profit of 50 that's called hustling, yeah and you know what. That's a good way to if that's the only way you can make money, because you can't get a job or you're trying.
Speaker 2:I'm flipping respect yeah that's a flip.
Speaker 1:That's like buying a house, fixing it up and flipping it exactly. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2:Good for you buying like a hacked laptop, deleting the hack on it and then selling it for brand new. Because you restored the laptop, you know you sell it for twice the price as long as you paid for it right, you didn't steal yeah.
Speaker 1:Big difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I don't know, just an example, but I've been noticing that and so well, good on them, but you know, here's some things.
Speaker 1:They were talking about some. They started the show off with statistics, which is always a good thing to do because it gives people something to think about. So they they were. Oh, here's what I want to say. One of the things that's biggest and the most important to me, one is who is going to bring this country back together? Who's gonna bring us back together? I don't want this left and right stuff anymore.
Speaker 2:It's so, you know.
Speaker 1:I just let's blend. That's what America is. When we became a country, people would come from Europe to blend. United, we stand united we stand, and so I want someone that is gonna get in office and bring this country together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and.
Speaker 1:Joe Biden promised that and it's not happening. Yeah so I'm just saying that for the listeners, few, just you know yeah little information there.
Speaker 2:If you haven't been paying attention, it's insane because he, when I remember I was listening to one of his things when why she should be president over Trump back in 2020 and he was like Trump has divided this country more than ever. Da, da, da, da, da, I will unite people.
Speaker 1:Yeah he didn't, you got anything, it is still really bad. It's just as bad as it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just as bad as it was. I've noticed nothing different, nothing has changed, and it's gonna take.
Speaker 1:You know the people on the left and the right or how you know. That's typically how it looks. They're not gonna do anything different until they have a leader up top saying that, that he sets the example, you know it's like, like his son over, you know. Yeah yeah, I mean, you know all the money coming in, you know you can't. You got to be an example. It's like being a parent you have got to set an example for you kids.
Speaker 2:Accountability as well you know yeah if your son's doing overseas stuff and like that, they're finding drugs in the White House and a bunch of stuff is coming around. That's not a good example for you know People looking at the leader of the free world.
Speaker 1:What is he teaching people? He's teaching people to be do things under the slide.
Speaker 2:He's teaching people to, it's okay to get money.
Speaker 1:However, you can no matter. You know if it's right or wrong.
Speaker 2:I'm elite, you're not, so I can do this, you can't right, so just a lot of things right there that are just yeah.
Speaker 1:But anyway, some of the stats I talked about last night were, I thought, interesting. So three and four Say our three and four people say our economy is not in good shape. I would be one of those two and three Americans think our country is On the wrong track. Prices are up 18% since 2020. Yeah so we're trying three years and that is hit in the pocketbook of many, many Americans, most Americans and many Americans are unhappy with that so more than 85% of Americans say that finances are a source of stress.
Speaker 1:Yeah pretty bad. More than half of the Population 51% actually have no access to childcare.
Speaker 2:Yes, what do you do, yeah?
Speaker 1:What do you do?
Speaker 2:Stats don't lie. So Americans are stressed and we're sending more foreign aid to Ukraine, and we're just and we're taking care of the Illegal immigrants coming across the border, you know that something about.
Speaker 1:That just does not seem right to me.
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't. But even what's even crazier is I've seen Democrats and liberal mayors and, like people in New York and Chicago, they're fed up with these illegals.
Speaker 1:Now they're holding protests get these things, yeah, yeah these people out of our city and, for those that don't know, sanctuary cities, they were the ones that said oh, we'll take care of anybody. Bring him, come to us Now they're just getting overwhelmed.
Speaker 2:There was this 87 year old veteran he serves. He was like a Vietnam vat and stuff like that. He was kicked out of the hotel for illegal immigrants. I remember hearing about that yeah like we're putting illegals over our own. Veterans that served our country and fought and almost died for this country yeah well, he's probably his best friends died war. We're just putting illegal immigrants and aliens over our own people right. That's not the kind of one or one of. That's not the kind of leader I want at all right.
Speaker 2:Well, and also you know where is your tax money going. You know, yeah, our tax money exactly.
Speaker 1:But I want to also add you know, I'm a social worker, I have a heart, I have a heart, you have a heart, you have a heart. I'm not saying I don't want to help people, not at all.
Speaker 2:But this is not the right way to do it.
Speaker 1:This is not the right approach, absolutely.
Speaker 2:We don't say hey everyone from around the world that has an issue or wants to get out of their world come here, this is your sanctuary, come in.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's just, they did that all wrong. Anyway, nobody asked me, so there we go, anyway, um.
Speaker 2:Know what you're going to vote for. Know why you're voting.
Speaker 1:Right and know what issues matter to you the most. Right, yeah, so I guess what can you do about that? Like, okay, so how right? Pay attention to the news, pay attention to the world. What is going on? Know what your issues are, know what your values are.
Speaker 2:What's important to you. Yeah, get your news from unbiased sources. Listen to both sides of the spectrum right. And write to get your information right.
Speaker 1:And typically like I'll listen to Fox News more than I will listen to CNN, but I do go over to CNN just so I can hear their side.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know liberal versus more conservative.
Speaker 2:Just to check in, yeah.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, it doesn't hurt.
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't.
Speaker 1:Because it helps to you know balance the information a little bit and then I can make my own decision, or I can add my thoughts into it and really solidify how I'm feeling about something.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Um, was there anything else? What are, oh, some other examples? So here let's go to a personal level. Maybe that you can maybe relate to. That might put you in the category of being in the victim mentality state. So if you ever find yourself saying why me? You know, why me, so you know. I think we can do that sometimes, but if you're doing it, even if you catch yourself doing it sometimes, you should go wait red flag. Why me? I think you should. What was my part in that and why am I saying why me right now?
Speaker 2:I think you should also like flip your mind, set you know, instead of saying why me? There's this phrase that I've heard many times it's God gives his hardest battles to his finest soldiers, or something like that. So, it's like if you're going through tough times. Tough times create strong people, you know.
Speaker 1:Right, that's so good you might learn something from this hard experience. You will learn something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that friend in you that just broke up and you all had a good relationship. Maybe you're going to learn something from that and you're going to end up happy in the long run, you know. So just try to stay positive.
Speaker 1:Don't have that negative mindset that will bring you down and bring everyone down Right, I had, you know, a situation with a friend where we weren't speaking for a while and I, you know, I stepped back from it and I went. You know this is a good example of what you're talking about. Like you know, maybe I should not have said that or maybe I need to speak. You know more clearly about what is on my heart. Maybe I even said something I don't even know. I said, or, um, you know, just different things like that stepping back and looking at instead of going well, he could have done that and he could have, and he shouldn't have. You know, that's not where you need to go. You need to let that go and focus on yourself, because you can't change the other person or what the other person did.
Speaker 1:All you can do is focus on you.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And then be better in the future. There you go, some people they don't try, try stuff. Yeah, why should I do that?
Speaker 2:It's just going to fail or I'm going to fail Just like. Have a positive mindset. That's what you're thinking. How?
Speaker 1:many entrepreneurs in this world or people that have created.
Speaker 2:You know apples and that fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, success. Yeah, exactly, Trouble and error.
Speaker 1:So Just got to keep going.
Speaker 2:Just got to keep at it.
Speaker 1:Don't but saying oh, I'm going to do that, I'm just going to fail anyway. Well, that's not going to make you feel good about yourself, yeah, and so if you fail, it doesn't work how you wanted it to. So what? You're going to learn from it, like you said, and you're going to move on and do something different.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And then I think talking about I was just talking about this. But this is like, spouse, you know marriage relationships, girlfriend relationships, whatever. But you know, if you've got some conflict going on, you just can't blame your partner for everything and refuse to look what you've contributed to the situation. You know the best way to solve a situation like that is to come to the table and go look, I realize that I, you know I am spending too much money or I do hang out with my friends more than I probably should and focus more on our relationship.
Speaker 1:You know, come into the table and owning your stuff, being accountable right Right it's important, yeah, and so think about the things in life where you could be more accountable in the situations in your world. And did you have anything else you want to add?
Speaker 1:That is everything, Okay that was a good session, but going back to just some things to keep in mind. So, like in regarding the you know, the I'm sorry election stuff coming out. You know we've got about a year before the presidential election It'll be in November of a year from now but you know, get out there and vote. Educate yourself on what the issues are. Know that your vote is important. Register to vote early. Don't wait till the last minute because there is a cutoff for that too. Listen to the debates, talk to people about it. Understand what are your values. You know again. Know what's important to you. What do you want to see? How do you want to see this country turn around?
Speaker 2:Right, and so just take that initiative to make your life better, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Takes a lot of work. It does, but it's worth it, but it totally is worth it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You'll feel like a better person and you'll be more confident as well, and happy All right. Well, we're going to wrap this up today.
Speaker 2:Enjoy talking about this topic with you, greg, it was fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right. So I think takeaway is to just start looking at your life.
Speaker 2:Start looking at your life from a different mindset or perspective and live it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, party on yeah. Well thank you guys so much for listening to this episode.
Speaker 2:Remember to share. Subscribe to the podcast.
Speaker 1:You can find us on Apple podcast all over our website as well, so check us out. We don't have a website, honey, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a lot of my head right now.
Speaker 1:You're getting ready for a class.
Speaker 2:I know, I know, I know.
Speaker 1:Anyways, thank you, jesus, for this episode. Yes, Thank you for your alone.