You Are Not Alone

Reflecting on School Conflict: A Story of Forgiveness & Blessings

Debbie and Greg Gold Season 1 Episode 23

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Imagine experiencing a benevolent moment of fun, only for it to spiral into a troubling ordeal. That's precisely what happened to my younger brother Chase, when a playful interaction in school resulted in an unwarranted attack. A harmless foam pumpkin was the catalyst to an unfortunate episode of violence, leaving Chase with a chipped tooth and our family with lingering concerns about the safety of the school environment. This is a somber reminder of the unpredictability of conflict among school students and the necessity for mindful supervision.

But what if there's a silver lining amidst the cloud of adversity? As we grappled with the shocking incident, our answer came in the form of prayer and reconciliation. We discovered that adversity often paves the way for unexpected blessings and lessons. This epiphany reinforced our podcast's mission, deepened relationships and also shed light on a cause to support during this holiday season: fatherless boys and adolescents. Join us on this emotional journey as we navigate through this challenging time, fostering forgiveness and finding blessings in adversity.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to another episode of the you are not alone podcast. My name is Debbie gold and I'm here with my co-host and son, greg, and we are so glad that you're here with us. Each week on this show We'll talk about informative issues, issues that will make you think and help you grow. It is our wish that you will find Encouragement and a little bit of Jesus in every episode.

Speaker 2:

All right, welcome back y'all. Um, we're back with another episode today. Me and my mom are here and hello yeah. So we're just gonna discuss some Thing that happened, I guess yeah, personal, something personal something personal this time so yeah it's gonna be a good one, so I'm excited to talk about it.

Speaker 1:

I am too. I think it's. There's a, there's a lot of good stuff to share and I think that my eyes were opened. My eyes were shut and eyes were open in a big way through this, the last few, almost a week. Yeah that's what was going on. So, anyway, hope there's some Takeaway for for our listeners out there. Mm-hmm without sharing. You wanna go ahead and start it out?

Speaker 2:

Sure, I guess. So I don't know what day this was, that it happened. It was last Wednesday. Last Wednesday. So I have a little brother chase. Is he's 16?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, October 4th. Yeah, that's her brother.

Speaker 2:

He's 16 and he's in high school. He's a junior in high school and this particular day, him and his bodies and a couple other kids, they were Doing something in school. I don't know what they were doing.

Speaker 1:

Let me I want to fill in the story. Yeah so they were in a business class business class and they had a sub that day and when there's a sub, they there's kids that are that volunteer to take the attendance slip down to the office. Yeah, I used to be that kid, yeah, so I guess they don't have a computer like that regular teachers do or something. Yeah, where they can enter all that so.

Speaker 2:

I would always like raise my hand first, because if you raise your hand first, she's gonna call on you. So that's how it works. Yeah, so chase reaction yeah it's like a it's a, it's a chape to it. It's a chance to escape. For five minutes on the halls, for you know, yeah, so in business class, and they were walking through the hallway and they had picked up a pumpkin. They had picked up this foam pumpkin. Sarah foam, yeah, sarah foam pump, pump kids, remember this part.

Speaker 2:

So, One of the kids let's call the kid Sam, sam and chase, my brother. Sam and chase they are. They're just goofing around with the foam pumpkin, you know they're probably, you know, kicking it, punching it like a football, hitting each other with it, just being goofballs because you know who wouldn't be right and this is on the way to the office, yeah, or on the way back, even maybe both, yeah probably, and Sam and chase, there they're starting to get into it with each other.

Speaker 2:

They're just like slapping each other around with it and stuff, and chase he's, he hits him with a little pumpkin or whatever, and he doesn't think nothing of it and he starts, you know, walking away. And as he's walking away, chase, here's footsteps behind me, you know, like getting gradually louder basically, and all of a sudden, boom, he gets hit in the head, basically his shirts like torn or something like that, and this kid, sam, tries to basically beat him up. So and then Chase, he kind of walks away, laughs it off because he was like what was that? You know, that was unexpected, um, and then he just goes home, I guess later that day, and told me so yeah and I didn't really.

Speaker 2:

I was like, oh wow, that's weird. So I didn't really think nothing of a it was gonna be in you know that big of a deal, because I didn't think it was. You know that big of a deal. He's like yo, I almost got my butt beat today or something like that, and I was like huh, I was like laying down on my bed on my phone and I was like, oh, you guys just being goofballs and you piss off a kid or something what. And he kind of described it to me. I was like, damn so, and I didn't even know that he got a chip tooth or his shirt was.

Speaker 2:

I didn't know any of that.

Speaker 1:

Okay yeah okay, so can I tell my side? My mama bear came out big.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, didn't know anything about this chase.

Speaker 1:

Went to Greg and told Greg about it on Friday, so two days later I get a call from the AP at the school and One of the six APs there's. It's a big school.

Speaker 2:

It's six APs, yeah, and.

Speaker 1:

He tells me he goes. I don't know if you know or not, but Chase wasn't had it. There was an incident at school and I'm calling you to let you know because it was reported by Someone that had seen it, and so it was.

Speaker 2:

It had taken a few days for that tall yeah, so I'm gonna give you an anonymous tip or something right, yeah, and so anyway, I'm like, what wait, what happened?

Speaker 1:

And he said, well, they were throwing this pumpkin around and apparently this kid, sam, said to stop and Chase didn't, and anyway it turns out Chase ended up getting hit, which which I translated to assaulted yeah.

Speaker 2:

Big boy terms.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and he ended up having his lower tooth chipped and it was sensitive, and so that's part of why I was being called to, because there were some physical issues. So, anyway, then Chase gets home from school, and so Dad and I, mike and I talk, sit him down and he said you know, he tells us what happened. And it was completely unexpected. And he, he said I have a bump on the back of my head and my chip, my tooth, was chipped and my shirt got ripped and my, my bicep hurts on my one of my arms and I go well, you must have got hit more than once. And how the AP had described it to me was Chase heard, running.

Speaker 1:

Well, actually, I think Chase said this because I heard running coming up toward me, you know, from the back, and I turned around and I got clocked in the in the mouth and I'm like, oh my gosh. You know, as a mother, hearing your child getting assaulted at school, it isn't quite disturbing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah For sure I was yeah, for me I see it. If your son, let's say if my son hypothetically have a son, let's say my son gets in a fight at school, that's one thing right, but your son just getting sucker punched in, you know, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And him recalling it happened so fast he didn't even know what happened. That's like a different, thing, I think.

Speaker 1:

Well, he was. Yeah, it is a different thing.

Speaker 2:

That's not. That's not like a well, no, it's called a sucker. He was attacked. It's called a sucker punch.

Speaker 1:

He was attacked for a silly reason.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

That was way, way over the top for that kid to do that because of he was. Chase was throwing a styrofoam pumpkin and Sam told him to stop and you know Chase will be that one that will kind of keep it up. You know, yeah, yeah he is, but still that's just unexcusable yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like if you want to go up to the kid and say, like yo, you don't know what to do, this, or you want to fight, and then a fight breaks out, that's a totally different thing. Two kids are agreeing to a fight.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Chase says yada, yada, yada, but they're getting something figured out. Not the best way possible, but still. It's better than a sucker punch to the back of a head and all this other stuff.

Speaker 1:

So there was a lot of. This would be a good topic to do Q and A on our listeners. Or you know people, you know younger people out there. There was a or Paul people, but yeah so there we were called. We were said we could press charges with the sheriff's department or they, we could like, let the school handle it.

Speaker 1:

I was like pressing charges seems a little bit extra you know, so anyway, but I was pretty mad and I felt like the actions were were not called for. And we did get an appointment for Chase to get his tooth looked at and and the dentist said, well, it's fine, you know, at least it's on the bottom. You know you can't see it, it's, we'll put some stuff on it. It's a little sensitive, but it wasn't like a, his whole tooth was missing or you know, it's just a small, little, little piece.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So he said it'll be fine and nothing major to worry about. So that made me feel a little bit better. But you know, chase was went back in, was called back in earlier this week to look at and he they showed him the video and he said I was hit like three or four times he goes. No wonder. I didn't know what was going on and I'm like whoa, you're kidding.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, um, he comes home and he's like well, I got to watch myself get my ass beat and I was like yeah, how did it look. He's like well, I got hit like three or four times and I'm like really Dang. And he's like yeah, and then you saw me running away and laughing on the, on the, on the end of the surveillance camera. He had like a big old smile and he was like what was that? Cause he was all confused.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, so. And then Chase was coming out of class and I'm going to add this piece in because I think it's important.

Speaker 2:

No, it is.

Speaker 1:

Um so this kid, sam, had a, a buddy of his couple buddies, couple buddies of his, come outside.

Speaker 2:

They were standing next to Sam and they were telling Chase they basically just came up to chase, or Sam and they're, or they came out. They came up to chase and they were like hey don't mess with Sam anymore, or else. And they basically, like you know, they got in front of his face and they basically threatened him. They gave more action on this. Something bad is going to happen to you.

Speaker 1:

So I don't know if these are upperclassmen or what, but Well, and then I talked to the sheriff, the, the where the columnist resource officer yes, yes, she talked to me today to see if we were pressing charges, which, by the way, we're not. Yeah, Um and uh, she did say that Chase did the right thing there, because they had that on video too and they they um identified them or not.

Speaker 1:

Well, they know who everybody is, and now everybody's getting consequences. Mm-hmm, oh yeah. But Chase did the right thing. He just turned around and walked away.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, obviously yeah, it's the right thing to do so you know he wasn't instigating or trying to.

Speaker 1:

Rile things up anymore and the reason that Chase didn't want to tell us about it was because he didn't want any retaliation at school, which you can't blame him, but at the same time, as a parent, you know anybody it's not right to even let that stuff go either, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's like when he told me. He told me so the whole fight thing with Sam, you know. And then he told me, yeah, and then some of his buddies came and like threatened me and stuff like that. And I was like threaten you, what do you mean? He was like you know, don't do this, or else it is.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And he made some like motions and I was like wait a minute. And that like ticked me off too Right, I was like these kids are trying to scare my little brother.

Speaker 1:

Right, so don't yeah we.

Speaker 2:

In or outside of school, you know.

Speaker 1:

I know I'm going to beat you, but you know you better not tell anybody, Right, Well?

Speaker 2:

no, that's a terrible way of wording it. It's like I mean, those are, that's how I feel. That's their backup, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, don't mess with our boy, or else you're going to get our shit, you know. Right.

Speaker 2:

That's exactly what they were doing.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

And that's stupid. You know it's completely stupid. You know You're just trying to roll him up and try to get in his head and stuff like that. And for what? So Well, it's stupid.

Speaker 1:

It's intimidating.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they're trying to be intimidating, yeah.

Speaker 1:

There's another word, yeah, Okay. So I've been pretty upset and beside myself over this whole thing and this morning I got back. I hadn't been spending time with the Lord in the mornings and I got back into you know, doing some reading and getting into the Word and I was reminded of a scripture. It's in Job 4210. It says the Bible sayssorry that's mine. After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. So basically, the Lord gave Job double after he prayed for his friends who had treated him badly. So I decided I was going to pray for these boys at school because clearly I mean, I don't know any of them, but it's my impression that they're probably coming from a home that's broken and they don't have good role models as parents and somebodyyou know that kidjust. So much anger to come after a taste that way over something so silly, right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you took it the wrong way. For sure it was out of context for sure.

Speaker 1:

So, anyway, it was a good thing for me today because I started praying for these boys that they would have better role models, that they would make better decisions in the future, that they wouldn't go jump to violence to solve a problem or an issue, and that really helped to soften my heart. But I also have to remember that God does good with the bad right. So we get. Maybe it's the devil or Satan bringing bad into our life, but God will turn it around into showing some good that comes out of it. And the things that I was made aware of this morning was you know, I realized that Chase and I were kind of struggling in our relationship. We had some conflict going on, for we have for some a little bit of a time now and honestly, this whole thing has brought us closer yeah.

Speaker 2:

I bet yeah.

Speaker 1:

And it just feels. You know, we went clothes shopping the other day, we had fun, we, you know, I've just been, you know, laughing with him more, chatting with him more. It just feels like we're in a whole more connected, a whole different place, and so that itself is a blessing. I guess I just it's good, yeah, yeah. It made me realize that some of the little things just don't matter.

Speaker 2:

No, yeah right, so it's so true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Something that you were saying is like forgiving your enemies. You know, in Muslim tradition, one of their big things is, you know, forgiving your enemies always and not holding any grudges to your enemies. Yeah, so it's like, even if these guys have done the worst stuff to you, the best thing you can do is forgive them and just have mercy on them, because they don't know what they're going through.

Speaker 1:

Right, and God has a plan for them and God wants us to do that, and I know that, but I just couldn't get my head. I was emotionally attached to what had happened.

Speaker 2:

Oh you were. I could see it. You were so emotionally attached all over. You were getting emotional on the phone with the sheriff and all that, and I was crying.

Speaker 1:

I turn around and just start crying. You know it's just, it was a bad.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was like don't let your emotions control you, just like see what the issue is here and try to resolve it the best way we can.

Speaker 1:

Well, like I said, I was coming from fear and anger.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, from your feelings and emotions.

Speaker 1:

So yeah and um yeah so, but it also reminded me the importance of this work that we do with our podcast, because part of what how this came to fruition was thinking about those kids that are out there that are fatherless. Those kids that are out there that maybe don't have good role models at home. They have a broken home. They have parents that are drug dealer you know doing drugs and you know focus more on themselves and their, their family.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I have a sense that these kids are in those situations and, um, and you know, just because some days we, we do this and it's like I don't know, are we? You know, why are we doing this? Is this really helping anybody? You know that kind of thing. And so I was reminded of the importance of our work and that we need to keep forging forward and doing what we're doing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's so true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then the other good thing that came out of this and this is crazy I got, um, uh, you know Christmas time and holidays, you get a lot of things in the mail from people asking for donations. And there was an organization, um uh, from I think it's in Nebraska, that sent me some information and they were looking for donations and and, uh, it was for boys that didn't have fathers and it was a program for them, and I was like, oh, and then it was actually the day before, so that was Tuesday. I got that the day before I had met with a couple of the neighbors and we're going to have this neighborhood party in November. November 18th is before the Thanksgiving holiday.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And we title that again.

Speaker 1:

Oh, uh, lakeview Livin and holiday given or something like that. Yeah, that's it, our Thanksgiving given or something like that. And so we, um, we decided we want to have this party and we're going to have someone's going to come and smoke me. We got a DJ coming. Um, you know, we're all. We got all these big plans. It's going to be fun, a fun evening. But also we thought we would ask people to make a donation to um, some charity that we decide we want to give her money, the money to. And I'm like, how I said, I told one of the planners, um, I said, what about if we do Horse, some program or organization that works with kids that don't have fathers?

Speaker 1:

Because it's so important Because if you don't have a father, I think it really can affect who you are and how you view yourself and how you view the world and father in your life. I should say. So that came. The package came in the next day from this organization in Nebraska and I was like this is who we should, not maybe them, but maybe somebody in Texas where we can see. It doesn't really matter.

Speaker 2:

I'm thinking Israel, palestine, because think of all the broken families, all the hostages, all these people. Imagine being in. My dad and me were talking last night. Imagine being in that situation while this stuff's going down and two of your brothers and your mom they're captured right now and you're safe, and it's like what are you experiencing? What is going through your mind?

Speaker 2:

right now and the brokenness and the scariness and the emptiness Babies are being captured from mothers and stuff like this and these people. They don't really have much to begin with, right? So if they have their babies taken away, it's like they have nothing to them so it's like I think we should have a Nebraska for anything, for kids without fathers too, and one for families too, because this is so important right now, and it's only getting worse.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so maybe that's the thing about sending over there is you can't really specify and it's going to be more broad or where the money is going to get used for.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's so hard to do.

Speaker 1:

But maybe we split it up. Yeah, but you know, my heart goes out to kids that don't have whole families, which is why this whole podcast started and, yeah, I just anyway. I feel like God spoke to me so much through this incident and brought so much good out of it. It was a lesson right there it truly was and, yeah, I like the idea about helping with the war situation. Crazy time right now.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it was just really. I was like it just didn't disbelief of how many normal families like, let's say, there were 8,000 families at four. Now there's 500 families and 80% of them don't know where their relatives are because their dad or captured.

Speaker 1:

And that's happening here too. People are seeing one woman on Fox News and she was like. I saw my mom's cousin being taken away by a Hamas guy. Can you even imagine? No, you're just helpless over here.

Speaker 2:

That's the feeling, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Oh no.

Speaker 2:

It's terrible and there's so many charities, like you said, but it's really broad with situations like that so it's like sometimes you don't know where your money's going, and that's like another difficult thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I think I just want to close with this, but I just want to write down something I was thinking to experience blessings in the midst of our problems, and I think that's really important. We need to make some decisions and take some actions that maybe aren't always easy, and one of those like for me, for example was praying for these boys who maybe don't really deserve to be forgiven, but I mean they do deserve to be forgiven. It was hard for me to bring myself to do that, to even think about that. You hurt my son.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Forgive you. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 2:

I mean Jesus forgave so many who are in him, Right.

Speaker 1:

Or sometimes it's hard. You know it might have to do having a good attitude when we're having struggles Like I didn't do that very well, you said it. I was angry at people, I was yelling at people.

Speaker 2:

Something you said to me that was it was like a week ago you kept saying this rejoice always.

Speaker 1:

Right yeah.

Speaker 2:

Rejoice always in the good and the bad, be happy for everything, don't hold grudges and just be thankful.

Speaker 1:

Rejoice always, pray continually. And when I looked at it, because I really didn't ever understand that and I looked up in a commentary with that man and it meant rejoice in the good, rejoice in the bad, because this is a great example of that. God will bring some great out of this, and maybe these boys too. I don't know what's going to be for them, but maybe they're going to learn a lesson because they're in school suspension or whatever they're getting, and maybe they'll go. Oh okay, I better not do this in the future. Well, yeah that too.

Speaker 1:

And I hope there's someone there that can go through with them and say, well, maybe could you do different.

Speaker 2:

I'm sure they're going to do that so.

Speaker 1:

Maybe another thing, too, is being thankful when there doesn't seem to be anything thankful for. To be thankful for, you know, just just for the simple things in life exactly.

Speaker 1:

Woke up this morning right beautiful day, it's nice outside and sometimes right, I know right, exactly Like sometimes I'll even. I'd like to start my prayer time with thanking the Lord, for this is the blessings in my life, and sometimes, when I'm stuck and I can't really think of anything which isn't often I'll go. Thank you for the roads that get me to town. You know people used to have to ride horses on the dirt truck. You know dirt pathways.

Speaker 2:

It's so. We'll just imagine where you were. If you were in your spot right now, and then you moved to the other side of the world, of what you would have, oh that's a that's a great, and now I think about where you are right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so it's like we're all pretty blessed. Yeah, yeah for sure. Anyway, it's really been a joy to be able to talk about this. It's been good to you, I think it's been a learning process for me, but it for me. It's always helpful to talk about stuff and it helps me to process even more and and. Anyway, I'm glad I'm where I am today and I'm not where I was Last weekend, even over the weekend.

Speaker 1:

Yeah and, and that's all because I spent some time with God and I got my head back on my shoulders, right? Anyway, god is good.

Speaker 2:

God is good. I think that's it for me.

Speaker 1:

That's our show for today. I hope it was worthy of listening to.

Speaker 2:

I think it is. It's a good one.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, anyway.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for listening. Listen to our podcast. This is kind of an off day for us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what's today Thursday? Yeah, it is.

Speaker 2:

Thursday. So today's kind of an off day for us. Didn't we miss last week?

Speaker 1:

We did. Yes, there was too much going on. Yeah, yeah so, but maybe your takeaway for today is think about how you might Be able to forgive someone to move on rejoice always someone.

Speaker 1:

Yes, rejoice, always, think about that. You know someone who might have hurt you or abandoned you or you know whatever. Just try to forgive them and and See how that may have an effect on your heart, to what kind of effect that has on your heart. Anyway, so that's your homework assignment. We appreciate y'all love you and Like and subscribe, yes, and we'll keep working hard on this and hope, hoping we can change lives and help yours.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm. Thank you, jesus, for this episode and remember you are not alone.