You Are Not Alone

Finding Momentum When You're Feeling Stuck

Debbie and Greg Gold Season 1 Episode 24

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Have you ever felt like you're spinning your wheels, stuck in the same place, making no progress? We've been in that rut and it's a tough one. On this episode of You Are Not Alone, we open up about some of our personal trials and struggles. I, Debbie, let you in on my own stalled efforts with a rental property, while Greg shares how he’s been wrestling with his own stagnation. And though the sweltering summer heat and shaky economy haven’t been helping, we want to remind you, and ourselves, that it's normal to have these moments of status-quo.

But here's the thing - even in these moments, there's a silver lining. We take you on a journey, exploring how God uses these hard times to refine us, to mold our character, and deepen our faith. We also talk about these valuable, albeit tough, life lessons that we can glean from our trials. As we learn from a donkey's inspiring story, it's imperative to remember that even in our most challenging times, we have the capacity to overcome and rebound stronger. The key is not to isolate ourselves but to reach out and help others, as we also seek support. After all, we're all in this together, and you are never alone. Tune in, and let’s find our way out of that rut, together.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to another episode of the you Are Not Alone podcast. My name is Debbie Gold and I'm here with my co-host and son, greg. We are so glad that you're here with us. Each week on this show, we will talk about informative issues, issues that will make you think and help you grow. It is our wish that you will find hope, encouragement and a little bit of Jesus in every episode. Hey there, welcome back to the you Are Not Alone podcast. I'm here with Greg, hello, hey, hey, it's Debbie, and yeah, it's Friday afternoon and we are ready for the weekend. I don't know about you, but I have had a very productive, long go non-stop week.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, long week would be the description for me too.

Speaker 1:

I think yeah, alright so, anyway, we want to talk about being stuck. Greg and I were chatting about it and we both have been feeling that way, like we've been stuck, there's no movement in our life. I mean, even though I'm busy, busy, busy, I just feel like there's so many things that I'm kind of hung up on and stuck. Like one of my situations, greg, is the rental house that we have that.

Speaker 1:

I put all that work in in September, like I spent 24-7 there and felt like furnishing it, cleaning it, doing all these fun things, but yet tiring and wearing things after a while.

Speaker 2:

You were working, working. You would wake up seven in the morning and I'd wake up like eight and you'd already be gone over there. You'd get home around four. Sometimes like that, it was a productive day and you'd just be working your butt off, and sometimes even later, sometimes even later.

Speaker 1:

And I was thinking today. I was like, why didn't I just sleep there? Because I got the beds moved in right.

Speaker 2:

It's so nice there.

Speaker 1:

Why didn't I just stay there and get the rest of my stuff done? I kept going back and forth, but anyways, whatever, yeah, so I feel like, okay, I worked so hard in September to get that done and I put it out on my different websites, my different apps and sites for rent, and that was October 2nd and I still haven't rented it.

Speaker 1:

And so I'm just going oh my gosh, when am I going to get somebody? I put a lot of energy and time and money into this and I'm getting responses, but they're not working out Right, For whatever reason. I wouldn't.

Speaker 2:

I don't know. You put so much effort into the house and I've spent the night there a couple times and it is amazing, yeah, so it's like when people see the potential of this place, they're going to just flock to it, yeah, so yeah, it's going to work out.

Speaker 1:

And when I think about it, what it's been 18, 17 days since it's really been on the market. That's not bad, that's not long at all. So, but then and then, on top of that, it was the summer heat that had been going on. For we're finally getting a little relief right now, it's so nice, but it was all summer and Tell me about it. I mean, I was just like, is this ever going to end? And it's 100 degrees every single day or more, and it's just, it wears you out.

Speaker 2:

It does.

Speaker 1:

It just it sucks you dry. Yeah, it sucks the energy out of you.

Speaker 2:

The hot sun and stuff like that. Yeah, it's terrible so.

Speaker 1:

And then we're trying to get a vehicle for Chase and we're trying to find the right one that's in our budget that is gonna last him through college has low mileage, and the first one was a dud. A dud. We blew that. We don't wanna talk about that one. Let's put that behind us.

Speaker 2:

That's right. It's in the past.

Speaker 1:

We're not going there. It just feels like there's so much weighing and I feel so stuck on all these things and I just really want some movement and I wanna go forward and I think the economy doesn't add to that, or adds to that as well. It's like the economy's bad. Do you get concerned about spending money? Yeah, dad and I talk about selling our house and moving somewhere, getting a house somewhere else, and you're scared to do that because you don't know what's gonna happen.

Speaker 1:

Well, the market's down right now. You really can't sell anything and getting money for it, and you know. And then try to find a different. You know it's just a bad time all over economically and it's a time where you don't really wanna do those kind of big things because it's uncertain, it's maybe not the wisest thing to do. So yeah, I've been feeling stuck, feeling like there's no movement. I think that's a really good way to say it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I don't feel like my life is progressing. I have feeling stuck. There we go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's pretty relatable. Not moving, just yeah.

Speaker 1:

For me it's a little different.

Speaker 2:

I lose motivation a lot. I lose energy as well, I think, but overall motivation's the main thing for me when I feel stuck, I think.

Speaker 1:

So, cause.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you're just like we were talking earlier.

Speaker 1:

You said you're in this pit, you know you were saying and I was like yeah, I mean the pit of the stuck. Yeah, it's like you can't get out the pittiest of the stuck. Yeah, it's like you're in this deep hole and you're trying to get out. So in this pit, yeah, it's a bad feeling.

Speaker 2:

So.

Speaker 1:

Duck pit yeah. Not good.

Speaker 2:

Not a good feeling, no.

Speaker 1:

So you're feeling unmotivated.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think I am for sure.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Think about it, yeah so, but I'm taking steps to like get out of the stuckness you know, and it's helping. So, like I, you know the gym recently.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And that has just been tremendous.

Speaker 1:

so yeah, that's awesome. I'm glad you got back into that.

Speaker 2:

Getting a routine is so helpful for me.

Speaker 1:

So, and so you started. What was it Tuesday? I think yeah, tuesday. You went Tuesday, wednesday, thursday. I took a free day yesterday. I didn't go yesterday, you took your free day today, which is Friday, and when I was at the gym the trainer said Greg's been coming every day and I go. Yes, he has, it's so wonderful. And he took a free day today.

Speaker 2:

Or off day, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Or off day. And Eric said that's okay, yeah, you gotta have an off day, yeah, so Anyway, but I'm proud of you for that. Getting back into that I know it was important to you when you were Last year at college and yeah, I want to get back into that shape way better too, because I've gained so much strength from you know summer landscaping and all that too, so I can just add the strength and the work ethic, I'll get there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, helps with motivation too, which is what I need right now.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, totally does.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I think it gives you more energy to it does you're pushing yourself and stuff, yeah, setting your goals, stuff like that.

Speaker 1:

So feeling good about yourself all those things. Yeah, there's so much that can come out of that, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Love it.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, stuck. I think one of the big Things that I was reminded of this week and doing my, my studies and my time with with God is that you know, god uses the difficult times in our lives to to build our faith with him, but also to develop our character and to make us stronger. And and I know that I, because I've been through difficult times before we all have them and we always will. But to keep in mind those things, that if I stick to it, if I head down, then I know that I'm gonna become a better person and I'm going to become a stronger person because of it and I'm gonna learn from it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there's this saying it's like tough times, great tough men, you know. Yeah, cuz I mean people go through hardships and stuff you know. You can realize that there could be, you know, almost a lesson, and sometimes tragedies and stuff like that. You can learn something, maybe something about yourself, or you can take away a lot. It just depends on how you look at it. I think so.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. I totally agree with that. And look and that kind of leads me to so how you, how you respond to your difficulties, has everything to do with what your next steps are gonna be in your life. So you know, you can choose to go for me poor me, oh my gosh, what am I gonna do, right? Which we talked about a couple weeks ago. Or you can go okay, god's got this, this is me now, and there are some things that I can do that are gonna get me through, and that's kind of what I wanted to share today and for us to have a discussion about. So the first thing about that is to you know, don't give up. You just trust that this, too, is going to pass. This is just a little season in my life right now. There's two shall pass, yeah, and it's a season in my life, it's something that's going on and this is not gonna be me stuck here forever.

Speaker 2:

Might be difficult, but we'll get there Right excellent.

Speaker 1:

Excellent thing to say, excellent thing to remember.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And then the second thing is do what's right, and when I say that, I really am thinking about what can we do that we would normally be doing? So don't get stuck in the self pity, but put your focus on someone else. Help other people.

Speaker 2:

Try to make someone's day something like that.

Speaker 1:

Make someone's day. Go help someone out, go volunteer, do whatever. Yeah, keep your focus on your relationship with God and just trust where you are right now. Just know that this is where I'm supposed to be Hardest thing to do ever, because you're like why me?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I wanna go back to that one point where you're like helping other people out and stuff like that. It like when you help somebody, like, let's say, I give this guy on the side of the street, you know, some food and stuff like that, I feel better about myself afterwards knowing that I helped them out in times of need and stuff like that. And it just it raises your attitude, I think, for however long it does so, it helps me. So just doing good things.

Speaker 1:

It makes you feel better Makes you feel better. I feel good. Yeah, just feel good and that's gotta add to takes your mind off that other stuff that baggage that's hanging there. Yeah, so we got you know. Never give up, Know that this is gonna pass. Second, let's do what's right. Let's focus on others and trust where we're at. The third thing is don't isolate yourself. Oh gosh, this is huge. You gotta reach out to people, Cause if you isolate, what are you gonna do, Greg? What do you think?

Speaker 2:

Overthink and just moan and ee just be all sad For me you're gonna stay in that little pit. Right.

Speaker 1:

That pit of stuck.

Speaker 2:

That's not a fun pit.

Speaker 1:

Right, we don't wanna be in that pit, you know, I know. Just for example, yesterday I went and had my hair done and get my color and all that and not that I wouldn't do that anyway, but it's a good example. I was sharing with my Katrina the lady that does my hair about something going on in my life and she's always got really good advice. You know, advice or insight into things.

Speaker 2:

I say you were gone for a decent while. I was wondering if you were chatting it up, yeah yeah, it was longer than usual.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I could tell. But anyways, it was really good that I didn't isolate what was going on inside of me and I shared something with her and she gave me some insight into something. I don't wanna get into detail, but just gave me a different. She gave me her perspective on the situation when I was kinda making my mind up and going in one direction, getting a different perspective is so good.

Speaker 2:

Cause sometimes in your own perspective. You overthink things you know with like worry or stuff like that, yeah, so, yeah, yeah, getting a fresh idea from, yes, a different perspective is so, so important.

Speaker 1:

So, anyway, don't isolate yourself. Tell people what's going on with you, right? I think it's very important to do that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And you might be surprised what people say and what rings true for you and could impact you in a way you never thought possible.

Speaker 2:

I always like to get like a different perspective on it too, cause I mean, a different mindset is better and if you're in like a negative mindset, let's say, someone with like a neutral mindset can just like see the situation clearly and you know, understand what's happening. So I think it's really important to talk to other people. Stuff like that with problems and stuff.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So, speaking of not isolating yourself or reaching out to people, I have another example I wanna share in my life. So, with all this going on it was couple of weeks ago I reached out to the supper club group oh, yeah, my ladies right. And I just asked them to pray for me. And here's just some of the responses. I'm just gonna read some of the things that they said that stuck out to me. I know God will provide a way. It's going to work out.

Speaker 1:

We love you guys. Stay strong and keep the faith.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, support a friend group right there.

Speaker 1:

I know, isn't that wonderful? Yeah, so that's what you can get by reaching out. That was so uplifting to me and it gave me hope that I just need to keep my head down, stay in my faith and this is all going to work out over time.

Speaker 2:

That's why I like surrounding yourself with positive people is so important. Yeah, you don't want to be with those people that are always negative and Nancy and stuff like that, because they'll just drag you down to their level.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, that's true.

Speaker 2:

And you'll develop the same mindset that they did, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, then you get going on that. So finding having people in your lives that can be good support people for you.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and people that like, tell it how it is. You know, honestly, I hate people that snowflake stuff. You know, they hide the truth from you and they tell you at the software.

Speaker 1:

It's like I want to know what happened and how it happened.

Speaker 2:

I don't want to beat around the bush.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2:

That can mess up somebody's feelings, or you know what they're thinking, or you know anything, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

Just be a. You want the truth, yeah.

Speaker 2:

The truth and only the truth, and the out front truth.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

It's good for helping people because they can think clearly about it.

Speaker 1:

So Right, okay. So then the fourth thing, after you don't isolate yourself is just don't stop believing. Just know that this is going to improve the time. You know that's putting your faith in God, or you know. However, just know that it's going to improve and you are not going to be stuck here forever. And sometimes I have to look back and go. I remember that time when it was really really hard, but I got through that.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm, and looking me now, and looking me now.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I'm good and I'm better because of it.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

So I know that this too is going to pass. This too shall pass, as they say.

Speaker 2:

I feel like taking your mind off, like, let's say, you have a lot of stuff on your plate like you do right, taking your mind off like all the other stuff that you have to do, like the Shenandoah house, you know, getting a car, yada, yada, yada, all that other stuff and just focusing on the small things in life, it helps so much with your mindset and attitude. I think.

Speaker 1:

So like an example of a small thing, like for me, maybe Going outside and sitting on the front porch.

Speaker 2:

It is so nice.

Speaker 1:

I know right, it's a beautiful day, Right.

Speaker 2:

And just you come out and you're like it's a good day, Smile on your face.

Speaker 1:

It's all going to be all right, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Just like smoke is focusing on the smaller things.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, those little things, they matter, just breathing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you're lucky to be alive.

Speaker 1:

Right, Just going. Okay, slow down and breathe.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know, or go sit on the front porch when the weather is beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Take a minute, yeah, yeah, and I think I talked to. I'm blind a little bit, or something, right?

Speaker 1:

I talked about that last time where I hadn't been in my quiet time with the Lord every morning in September because I was so focused on Shenandoah and getting that furnished and ready to rent again and like I totally missed the most important thing in my life for like a whole month. Isn't that not how you just keep up and get going. You get distracted.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you get distracted and your priorities change.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, so anyway, don't stop believing.

Speaker 2:

It's all going to work out. It always does.

Speaker 1:

And then finally move, take a step, whatever that is. And I want to read something to you because I love this little story. It's a little story, it's about a donkey, and I Get this story from Joyce Myers, who's a Christian author and speaker, and she's she doesn't know this, but she's been my mentor for probably 20 years. Like love this lady.

Speaker 2:

And face her own, our house, since I can remember, yeah, in the mail and the Anyway, she's amazing, she's got podcasts and TV shows. I looked her up to see if like. How, how authentic is this, joyce Mars? I looked her up for my own.

Speaker 1:

And she's a nonprofit and I was like, yeah, wow, okay.

Speaker 2:

That's great.

Speaker 1:

She's got ministries all over the world. Yeah where she she.

Speaker 2:

You know, helps young people To the Lord and stuff like that kids with clipped lips.

Speaker 1:

They get surgery, they dig wells, they do I mean, they just do all this crazy stuff trafficking, help when we get out of trafficking, and she's all over the place. It's crazy, and she's got her whole family involved in this ministry pretty cool, yeah, so all our kids got four kids, I believe and she's a lot yeah, so anyway.

Speaker 1:

So I love Joyce Myers and she tells the story and I've heard it different times, and here here it goes. You may have heard the story about a donkey that fell into a well. Upon seeing what happened, his owner thought about it for a while and then he decided the pit was too deep and the donkey was too old, so he decided to bury him in the well. He called some friends and neighbors to help and they began to shovel dirt into the pit. At first the donkey cried out, obviously terrified of the situation.

Speaker 1:

Later, however, his owner noticed that he'd gotten quiet. He'd gotten quiet and thought he'd probably already had died. But the donkey had not died. And when the owner looked down in the pit, he saw that every time the dirt fell on its back, the donkey would shake it off I and step on it, packing it down under his hooves. This continued for hours until finally the donkey had packed enough dirt to lift himself up and out of the pit. Okay, like I said, I've heard this story so many times and I love it and I'm always reminded of I have to move.

Speaker 2:

That little donkey's got some stamina.

Speaker 1:

No kidding, right Like he didn't give up.

Speaker 2:

Well, he thought about a way to get out of it yeah smart donkey.

Speaker 1:

So I don't want to be the donkey in the pit, I want to be on the way out of the pit. Exactly. I want to be on the move, yeah, and I want to take steps that might lead me to getting unstuck. So I'm not going to stand still, be in the pit. I'm going to take steps to get unstuck. So I think that's.

Speaker 2:

The donkey thought about the solutions and made it happen.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

I didn't even know that story. That's pretty cool.

Speaker 1:

Isn't that cool. Yeah, that's kind of what you're doing with your working out, getting back at the gym. You're not letting yourself be stuck.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm just stepping on the sand now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Trying to get unstuck. So it's working. Yeah, it's helping Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, whether we're stuck in our relationships or our finances, or our health or whatever it happens to be, we just got to keep moving.

Speaker 2:

Always.

Speaker 1:

Find a way.

Speaker 2:

Just keep moving, just keep swimming, just do it.

Speaker 1:

You know it's going to either help or it's not, but you just got to keep at something.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Keep moving forward.

Speaker 2:

Like Dora said, finding Nemo just keeps swimming.

Speaker 1:

Is that what she said? How do you not know? I don't know Too many of those movies back then, oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2:

So many different Disney and Pixar movies. It's crazy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Anyway. So I don't know if I have anything else to share today. How about you?

Speaker 2:

I think I discussed everything.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I think we're all ready to share. All right, I like that I like that donkey store. That was pretty good, that is so awesome. I was like, where are?

Speaker 2:

you going with this, you know, and then I was like the donkey's dead.

Speaker 1:

No, no, the doggie didn't die, that's pretty cruel.

Speaker 2:

You see the old donkey in there. And then the donkey figured the way out. I was like, so you?

Speaker 1:

know. And doggies, they're not smart, right Not?

Speaker 2:

really no so that's pretty impressive.

Speaker 1:

But when there's a will, there's a way. So there you go, exactly yeah.

Speaker 2:

I love that saying yeah.

Speaker 1:

All right, so call to action. So I think, gosh, I don't know, see if there's a place that you're stuck in your lives.

Speaker 2:

Try to think about it and digest where you're feeling stuck In the stuck pit.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, where are you in a pit somewhere?

Speaker 2:

Are you in the stuck pit?

Speaker 1:

Is it a relationship pit or is?

Speaker 2:

it a relationship, my finance, kids right. Bigger problems, smaller problems, job, I don't know. It could be anything.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, for sure, anything. So identify that and then try to keep in mind some of the things that we talked about today.

Speaker 2:

You know, don't give up and start digging yourself out of that pit.

Speaker 1:

Dig yourself out, take some steps, do some good for other people, don't isolate yourself and just don't stop believing because it will get better.

Speaker 2:

Always.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, all right, I guess that's our wrap for today, and so glad that you're here with us. Thank you for listening and just remember you're not alone. You are not alone, all right. Thank you, jesus.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Jesus.

Speaker 1:

Take care, we'll talk to you all soon.

Speaker 2:

All right.