You Are Not Alone

The Power of Speaking Life-Giving Words

Debbie and Greg Gold

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As we shake off the quiet of our holiday respite, Debbie and I unfurl the intricate tapestry of language in our heartfelt exchange. We've all grappled with those moments where words escaped us or, worse, where they've flown out unbidden, shaping reality in their wake. Our conversation threads through the spectrum of language's impact—from the biblical to the everyday—highlighting the undeniable power that words have in molding our lives and the connections we hold dear. Through laughter and earnest reflection, we peel back the layers of family life, puncturing the facade of perfection to celebrate the genuine, albeit messy, growth that stems from heartfelt communication.

Together, we weave a narrative that underscores the majesty of gratitude and the fortitude of encouragement, sharing tales steeped in the simple yet profound gestures that fortify bonds and soothe the soul. We recount the moments where a truck's early morning rumble or the quiet understanding between friends became the cornerstone of a renewed perspective, the kind of stories that illustrate how the echoes of our language can resonate with healing and comfort. And as each chapter unfolds, we invite you to join us in harnessing the art of encouraging words, reminding ourselves that amid life's solitary battles, the right words can be a lighthouse guiding us back to shared shores.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to another episode of the you Are Not Alone podcast. My name is Debbie Gold and I'm here with my co-host and son, greg. We are so glad that you're here with us. Each week on this show, we will talk about informative issues, issues that will make you think and help you grow. It is our wish that you will find hope, encouragement and a little visit Jesus in every episode.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to the you Are Not Alone podcast. Greg and I are here. We took a break over the Christmas holiday, a bit of an extended break, but we are back and just want to say hope you had a merry Christmas and a happy new year. And a happy new year.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So today we want to talk about speaking life-giving words. Our words, they can really change the course of our lives. I wonder if you ever thought about that.

Speaker 3:

I mean, yeah, words are powerful. I mean it's the main way we communicate with people. It can have a negative or positive effect, whatever you say, and some words can have more power than others. I think yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think there's a lot of power in our words and we can do a whole lot of good with them when we speak positive, encouraging words about ourselves or to ourselves, about our lives and to other people, because it can build us up and it can build up the people in our lives too when we do it to others.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Or the opposite is true we can tear others and ourselves apart if we choose to use negative words. I wanted to read just some scripture from the Bible. It's James 3, chapter 3, verses 4 through 5. And it says when we put I'm sorry, let me re-do that it's James 3, verses 4 through 5.

Speaker 2:

Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

Speaker 3:

Basically what I say before little things can have a huge impact on things.

Speaker 2:

Little things can have a huge impact.

Speaker 3:

A little spark from the wind or nature or something like that, it can set an entire forest ablaze.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it can destroy a whole. Destroy, destroy, that's a key word.

Speaker 3:

Likewise, tongue is a small part of the body's great boasts.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and it can destroy like a fire and we can change the course like a rudder of the people in our lives by the way we talk to them. It can be negative or positive. Right, so do we want to lift people up or we want to tear them down. Of course, our intentions aren't to tear people down, but we do say things that hurt people.

Speaker 3:

We might not realize it too sometimes.

Speaker 2:

You know it's funny. I was thinking about the other day and I asked if you. I was home for lunch and I asked if you could cook, make up some taco meat.

Speaker 2:

And I went into the kitchen. I was thinking, oh, I don't know if it's ready, and it looked like you had cooked it and it was. You put the sauce and all that in there, the seasoning, and it looked like it was off the burner. And it was, and I thought, well, I don't think that's long enough. And I put it back on the burner and I picked up the spoon that you were using to stir and cook and it was one of those Teflon, you know, the black ones, yeah, and you were using a stainless steel pan and I was like so mad because it wasn't working in there for me and I threw it in the sink, the spoon.

Speaker 1:

I grabbed a silver A liquid cup.

Speaker 2:

Don't need to talk about it. Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it. And I took, I grabbed a stainless steel spoon and I go Silver pot, silver spoon, silver spoon, oh my gosh. But I mean one thing I have to say.

Speaker 3:

Oh, looking back on that, I laughed so hard too.

Speaker 2:

I know, I think you were shocked, but also you know I have to say when, when things like that happen, sometimes there's a reason for that. There's some buildup from behind and and I've been sick with an ear infection and so there was a lot of that. When you can't hear and your heads clogged and oh, it makes me so like temporary yeah so that that was fueling that, that energy of emotion there. But you know, sometimes I wonder, are other families as crazy as our family?

Speaker 3:

Oh, no, yeah, yeah, 100%.

Speaker 2:

I mean, there are times that I go. Did that really happen in this family?

Speaker 3:

No, I've talked to my buddies about it and stuff before and even when I've been over at their house and stuff I hear yeah the little brothers screaming from the he's upstairs on his pound.

Speaker 1:

Don't shout out.

Speaker 3:

Dad's yelling outside. I'm like, oh, okay.

Speaker 2:

This is a mirror of our family.

Speaker 3:

We're not just like this.

Speaker 2:

It's just, it's just kind of crazy. Well, you know, I was eating talk. I think maybe the family like the cleaver family way back in the day that the cleaver show the. Cleveland beaver cleaver.

Speaker 2:

Oh, you might even know that that was the show when I was young was in black and white on tv, and it was mrs Cleaver and she was the stay-at-home housewife that wore the dress with the apron and everything in their family was just perfect and and I think that's just really rare and so anyway, if you ever get a chance to google that or look that up on your phone, it was beaver cleaver. I forget exactly what the show was called, but that was the, the young boy in the show, and he had an older brother, ward, and then there was a A Ward's friend, eddie haskell, and eddie was sort of this kid that was sort of mischievous and he would kind of do things that weren't Always ethical and that he was opposite of the, the whole of the whole family.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, the whole family. So it was like the bad.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, he was sort of the protagonist, or yeah, but um, anyway, yeah, I mean. So we do have to watch our words, because I'm not sure how that affected you, but it probably wasn't good, oh no, it was funny.

Speaker 3:

At the time I was like whoa, that's unexpected, and then I'm eating tacos in my room and I just started laughing on I know where. I'm like that was ridiculous. That was so funny.

Speaker 2:

All right Well. I do think we're not we're not unusual, but I you know we need to watch those things, right? So Okay, that was a diversion. What, um? Where are? We yeah so let's just talk about so every day. Um, oh yeah, I wanted to start with this because it's so important and I do this every day when.

Speaker 3:

I pray talking about this a little for a while now, and I really like it so like, yeah, I've mentioned it before, yeah, just saying every day, say what you're thankful for.

Speaker 2:

It can be if you have a really hard time coming up with something, like today when I was saying thank you for the medicine that the doctor gave me to help clear my infection, you know, just those kind of things. If you can't think of anything, and if you because sometimes you can get in a space where you don't feel thankful you can say I got hot water to take a shower, I have a road to drive my car on, or I have a sidewalk to walk to school on, or your sunshine out there.

Speaker 3:

You give me a thank you this morning when I started my truck just to wake you up.

Speaker 2:

You know yeah. Yeah, you're like, I needed to get out of bed so yeah, I heard great take off and I was like, oh, I got to get out of bed and it was a because, yeah, I heard you were in the gym and I was like I was coming back from the food truck because I got tacos this morning Super early and I see you coming out and I was like oh crap. Jim, I gotta go and he can. He committed to me last night he would go with me. Yeah so I call him.

Speaker 3:

You're like you coming.

Speaker 1:

Turn your butt around.

Speaker 2:

So he did, he kept his word, mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. But yeah, so it just makes you feel so much gratitude. Yeah makes you feel thankful for everything.

Speaker 2:

So mm-hmm, and it helps us Focus on what we have and well, instead of what we don't have true and like look at the big picture too.

Speaker 3:

It's like so many people don't have, you know, good beds to sleep on at night. There are a lot of homeless people, you know. Some countries don't have the money or the food to feed everyone. It's like we are really blessed when we think about it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

We can be thankful for so much because we have a lot of things that a lot of people don't have. So right counter blessings. So I was like to say that.

Speaker 2:

Counter blessings. Yeah, I found a quote from Willie Nelson. It said when I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around there you go.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think that's true, he's a smart man, so he's smart, he's successful and he came.

Speaker 2:

He was Adopted by his grandparents. Do you remember? We talked about that in the first episode, that's right, willie, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and he's from Texas in the.

Speaker 1:

Austin area.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, he lives here now. I'm not. I don't remember where he's from, but he's Texas.

Speaker 3:

He's always around.

Speaker 2:

Yeah for sure. So just let's be grateful, let's think about that and try to keep that in our lives. Next, encourage and build others up, like that's really important to do. And and why is that important? Because they're powerful. We talked about that in the beginning. They can actually make people feel better, physically and emotionally. And I want to give an example. I was Going back and thinking about this and when we were in over the Silver Thanksgiving and we were in Virginia Beach with Dad's family, his brother Alan, we we got to the house and we kind of settled in and he he says to me goes tab, you look great. He was. Your hair color looks awesome, you're looking healthy, it looks like you lost some weight. And I just went oh, thank you, and I, I, I knew I'd lost some weight, I felt I was looking healthy.

Speaker 2:

But to hear him say that and actually you, I know it's not confirmed, but just to acknowledge it and say that to me.

Speaker 3:

It's like you notice.

Speaker 2:

He noticed, yes and it really made me feel good and it changed our relationship crazy, but it really did. It was like I felt really a lot more connected to him and I still do, in fact. We had a conversation a few weeks ago about some stuff going on in my life and I reached out to him. It was crazy. I would never thought I would have done that yeah and that's awesome yeah

Speaker 2:

so I do feel he's pretty cool dude yeah, I really got to know better. Yeah yeah, so it's changed our relationship. Yeah, and that's what words can do.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, they're extremely powerful. Yeah, I mean, I have an example too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, what's that?

Speaker 3:

Our dog Niko. So we, yeah, bless his soul. We had to put him down about what was it. It was January 6th, so about five days ago.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, five days ago he went over the rainbow bridge.

Speaker 3:

so, yeah, but it was extremely tough. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do and, you know, my good buddy came out the day of and he's lost a couple dogs too, so he was relating to me and helping me through the trauma or not the trauma, just the pain of everything and he just kept me distracted through it and just kept my mind off it, and he brought like a more positive way of thinking about it too, which was really helpful.

Speaker 2:

Do you recall what he said.

Speaker 3:

I mean, sometimes we're caught up in the emotion we don't remember. I mean, you know, like he's not in pain anymore and stuff, because I mean his back legs were weak and stuff like that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah right, it's really bad he did. He was in a lot of pain medicine.

Speaker 3:

He was in a lot of pain medicine so it's like he's not in pain anymore. He's flying high. So and he lived 13 years, so that's a pretty good run. So, yeah, for labs they live, I think, like 11 years usually, so he was like a lab mix so but 13 years was a really good run. So, yeah, he helped me through that and our neighbors and everyone you know. They sent out a group chat letting our neighbors know and everyone just like, sent their condolences and stuff and it was super, super helpful to hear everyone talk about that. So, and then you know how, linda gave us a card the other day and stuff that was super sweet so.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Everyone's really being really sweet about it, so Right, it's really helpful, so no one other people there for you, so yeah it.

Speaker 2:

It changed. Well, I'm sure it changed your relationship with Nathaniel yeah, good friend, and Getting a card from from Linda and Tim and Kayla, you know really, yeah, it made me feel like they really cared about us and that their hearts were hurting for us and they were. They were wanting us to.

Speaker 3:

She's such a dog lady to.

Speaker 2:

That's true. Yeah, they are dog people, so you know other other Ways to lift up other people and just sometimes saying simple things like you know, hey, be good to yourself, don't be hard on yourself, or you know, I know you, probably you know. Just thanks for being available to help yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3:

You know you're always good about expressing your thanks and you gotta let people know that you know you value them, because time is valuable and stuff. So, especially in rough times. Yeah, so.

Speaker 2:

I Know, sometimes, when people are discouraged or feeling a little hopeless, you know I'll say things like hey, this is tough, but you're tougher. Right yeah you know, Give it a shot. What? What do you got to lose?

Speaker 3:

right Exactly, just encourage them be encouraging to people or two words of encouragement are so powerful.

Speaker 2:

So they can do a lot for people. You can move purse people across the line. You know you can by your words. You can push them in into a place that he may not have gone right, yeah and they could have missed out on an opportunity it's so, so important so important words can be so powerful, like we said. Yeah, did you want to tell the? You were telling me about you. You and Chase called grandma.

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's right, yeah, so another good example. Yeah, the other day my dad texted me, chase, and he was like hey guys, you know how grandma sent a Check for Christmas and stuff and you know you should wish her a Merry Christmas and stuff and thank you for the checks and stuff. So chase comes in my room and we both sit down and we call grandma. She doesn't pick up. At first when we were about to leave a voicemail and then all of a sudden she calls back right away.

Speaker 3:

We're like grandma how you doing and stuff, and she was in like the process of moving, I think, or something like that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I got her moved in. Yeah, and she's like five minutes now from Ellen and Linda. Oh yeah, that's awesome 20 minutes awesome.

Speaker 3:

So she was like this box is everywhere and it's just been chaotic, and just giving me a little update on her life, and she, um, we were just thanking her for the cards, catching up, we talked about like what were you doing with school wise and job wise and what are we doing, you know, just hanging. And she was like I don't know if you guys know this, but this phone call it means it's, it's like it means the world to me. So it's made my week, it's made my day and it's like I wish we could be closer because the distance thing is hard, because she's in, you know, virginia Beach and we're in Texas, so you know it's a decent amount. So mm-hmm, but yeah, it really meant a lot to her and it just made me and Chase really happy and so thankful for her because she's an amazing grandma.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, I know she's. It's hard for her not to be close to you guys and she feels Like you know, she misses out on being your grandma doing the grandma thing right right so it sucks. Oh, but it is life and a lot of that's how a lot of people live these days, right.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I just want to get to see her more often. So Because I feel, I feel bad that she can't be around. So yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, um, I don't know. I thought this sort tied into To speak like life-giving words and this kind of focuses on us. It's speaking the truth. If so, if we're committed to truth, at some point we need to give up our weaknesses, and I'm referring to ourselves, speaking the truth to ourselves. You know, we can go along in life and just Ignore those little issues that are a problem for us, or those little Um Parts of us, you know, I guess or what am I looking for the word Things that we do that aren't probably good for us right in our lives. And um, you know, we can't really change anything until we admit.

Speaker 3:

Maybe our vices, maybe vices, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, john. In the Bible John, chapter 8, verse 32, says then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Speaker 3:

Heard that many times yeah.

Speaker 2:

So when we're committed to the truth, at some point, like I said earlier, we need to admit our weaknesses. So you know, if we say what could be an example of that, greg, trying to think of one off the top of my head?

Speaker 3:

Um, well, well, if we Talking negatively about yourself when you make a little mistake, like you don't mean it, you know, like, oh, you're like, let's say, you drop a vase or something, oh, I'm so stupid, you know, yeah, um, I want to quote Bruce Lee here because he once said don't speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy and cast spells. That's why it's called spelling Change the way you speak about yourself and then you can change your life. So I mean, even as a joke and stuff, you got to be honest with yourself and you know you're not stupid just because you dropped a vase, you made a you know a little silly mistake and stuff, but you just got to be truthful about yourself. Um, and just be honest with yourself because, like he said, your brain and your body doesn't know the difference.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

So, and being honest with yourself, I mean, yeah, the truth sets you free, just like John said. So.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that, um, you know, I kind of go go back to, um, doing things that aren't healthy for me, like when I was playing Candy Crush a lot or I could you know, I never it took me to the point of really realizing how much I was doing and that I could say this isn't good for me. Um, it's taking a lot of my time and I'm putting my resources into this game versus being productive uh, building the podcast, publishing the book I've written, you know, doing all those things that are really important, doing the things that I feel God has called us to do, almost like a wake up call for like yeah giving yourself the hard reality or the truth.

Speaker 2:

I guess, so, so and it set me free. I am so glad I gave that up. I've never looked back and that was that was because of I think it was because of a detox sermon at the church back in um. August. I think it was August. It was before Dad and I went on that road trip, yeah, so you gotta play Candy Crush again, though.

Speaker 3:

No, I don't, yes, you do. Nope, don't want to, no come on no.

Speaker 2:

I'm good. I'd rather read a book. You know, do things like that, okay. So, yeah, I'm okay. Okay, but it did set me free and I feel happier.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's just, it's really John 832. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. Yeah, we go. So don't be afraid to look at what may not be working for you in your life and, um, that's one way that you can be speaking life-giving words to yourself.

Speaker 3:

Awesome, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

All right. Well, that's all I have today. Do you have anything you want to add?

Speaker 3:

Um, today, I mean, just speak the truth, you know yeah.

Speaker 2:

Um, speak the truth. So maybe our call to action will be um, think about, okay, so think about the people that you're when you hear this message. Think about the people that you're gonna, um that you're gonna be coming into contact with in your life that day, and do, but do this every day and think about, start thinking about encouraging words that you can say to them.

Speaker 1:

You know.

Speaker 2:

You know people are going on. You know, have stuff going on, or maybe you've got a co-worker or a friend that might be going through something, or not, even that you can just give a compliment, like you know. You are always so bubbly, I love that about you. Or you know, I want to. I'd like to be like that more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And just be encouraging to people. So be thinking about that Plan ahead, on on it. And if you can't come up with anything, just ask. Ask God to you know, pray, ask Him to put encouraging words on your heart.

Speaker 3:

Amen to that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, amen, all right. Well, I guess that's our episode for today. I guess so, and uh, we hope you enjoy it and then it's been helpful, and just remember that you are not alone. All right, thank you, have a good day.