You Are Not Alone
Our purpose is to help people of all ages navigate life. As a mother and son team, Debbie and Greg come together to talk about the realities and struggles all of us face in today’s world. They cover a wide array of topics from mental health to current events to teaching on topics that help us do life. As Christians, they know there is one thing that brings peace, hope, and encouragement to anything life throws at us, and that is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Come along on the ride to learn what this means and how to get it. Your heart and life will be changed forever!
You Are Not Alone
Mastering Self-Discipline: Crafting Attainable Goals and Staying Motivated
Discover the transformative power of self-discipline as we unpack the secrets to setting SMART goals that are truly attainable. Our personal anecdotes, from my battle to become teller independent at the bank, to Greg's dedication to his gym routine, serve as real-life testaments to the strategies we'll share. Get ready to redefine your aspirations and learn how to craft objectives that resonate with your deepest ambitions—whether it's picking up a new hobby, reorganizing your life, or scaling back your screen time, we've got you covered.
Embark on a journey with us as we reveal the methods to keep your motivational flame alight, even when the going gets tough. We'll talk about the magic of visualization, the power of positive self-talk, and why every tiny victory is worth a celebration. Listen in for personal practices that help maintain focus, like my reflective night drives and morning prayer routine, and hear how these strategies have led to the tangible rewards we've seen firsthand—from our podcast's success to the fitness milestones Greg has achieved. This conversation is your roadmap to making those goals a reality and keeping the promise to yourself, every step of the way.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the you Are Not Alone podcast. My name is Debbie Gold and I'm here with my co-host and son, greg, and we are so glad that you're here with us. Each week on this show, we will talk about informative issues, issues that will make you think and help you grow. It is our wish that you will find hope, encouragement and a little bit of Jesus in every episode.
Speaker 2:Welcome back, y'all. We are back with another episode. Today, we're going to be doing self-discipline. So back in March 2023, we did an episode on self-discipline, and that's what we're going to be doing, or talking about, today. Make sure to stick around, because by the end, you'll learn how to set realistic, well-defined goals for yourself and no techniques that will help you make it to your goal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really important.
Speaker 2:This is the one that I really need to focus on, too, myself, so it's going to be a good one to just go over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're recently talking about how you've been feeling kind of self-motivated and sometimes you need other people around you to pick you back up and that's why we're going to do this episode Exactly. It's good. But I'm also reminded, greg, of the. You know, just a couple of months ago it was New Year's and I know people set goals for New Year's.
Speaker 2:You know, I actually didn't do that this year.
Speaker 1:No no.
Speaker 2:I fell asleep at like 11 o'clock on New Year's.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to lie, I didn't even stay up for it, and I was like I don't got time for that. Did you yeah say, you fell asleep and maybe? You were feeling not motivated.
Speaker 2:Not motivated, I don't know.
Speaker 1:In that self-discipline to set some goals for yourself.
Speaker 2:I don't know, maybe I don't know, it was a good night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cool. Well, as long as it was a good night that's the most important thing so, but so reminded that there's probably people out there right now going yeah, I did set that goal and already dropped it, or already gave it up, or you know. However, we do that with our stuff.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So, anyway. So I think this is a really good time for this topic. It's specific right now, especially for you, but I know I know you're not the only one out there that has things that they really want to accomplish and start working on. Yeah, anyway, so let's see. I think let's just kind of break down a little bit about how this will look today in this episode. First, we're going to look at a system that's going to help our listeners and set clear and well-defined goals, and then we're going to look at ways that we can keep ourselves motivated while we're working on those goals and trying to get across that finish line. Okay, so, first. First, we all need goals, right, and Greg, I know you have one of my.
Speaker 2:Maybe just say what that is right now, just to give an example Just getting back into the gym for me.
Speaker 1:Okay, wonderful, and you all may already have a goal. If you do, write it down or, you know, get that in your head what that is, and if you don't. I just want to throw out a couple or a few ideas. So one could be maybe start a hobby. What else do you?
Speaker 2:think Cleaning the house, I don't know. Keeping the house clean, sure, something like that. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Might be a tough one Getting in shape kind of along the lines of you Reading more was one of mine. Cutting out social media maybe, yeah, yeah, or limiting, or figuring out a way to limit yourself on that, yeah. Reading. So I got into a book club which you know I've been reading more, so that's wonderful. It's very relaxing Getting organized.
Speaker 2:That's, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:I feel like sorry. I feel like I'm doing so many things right now that my world in particular.
Speaker 2:You are kind of juggling like eight different balls right now. Eight different balls yeah, it's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've got different jobs and we're keeping this podcast moving and because it's really important to us and yeah. What's going on? Leah so maybe it's finding a church home, maybe it's improving my grades, maybe it's having quiet time on a regular basis or improving my finances. So there's a lot of things volunteering more in the community.
Speaker 2:There's so many goals you can set.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. So anyway. So hopefully that's been a little helpful to run through that. But let's go ahead and get started with. There's a system that will help you clearly define your goal and it's called smart, and the smart is an acronym, and so let's go ahead and break that down. So the S stands for specific. Basically, you know what is your goal. So when you say I want to do a good job at my work, well, what does a good job mean? You want to get you know, you want to be able to define that better.
Speaker 1:More specific yeah, break it down, yeah. So you know what is it that you really want to accomplish? And we really want to look here at quality, quantity, you know, cost your time, percentage of change, so it's kind of that quantitative thing to help define that. So when you say, when you want to have quiet time on a regular basis, well, what does that mean? Is that three times a day, or three times a week, or three times a day, right? Or is that every day?
Speaker 1:you know what does that look like for you? That's kind of a good example of to start thinking and going down that path. And then the M stands for motivating. So is this goal meaningful to you?
Speaker 2:Is it yeah? Is it high on your like priority?
Speaker 1:Yeah, is it going to benefit me or is it going to drain me? Exactly Like let's not set ourselves up for a goal that is just going to be.
Speaker 2:Drag you down.
Speaker 1:Drag you down be impossible. I mean, no one's going to be good about that.
Speaker 2:Not fun no not fun?
Speaker 1:Achievable is the A in smart. Is it realistic, is it reasonable? Can you know? Is it within your control to do that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, some people like start small and that's like the smartest thing to do.
Speaker 1:I think sometimes Absolutely, because some people don't do it too big, so almost unrealistic. Well said, yeah, I'm glad you threw that in there for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Relevant is the R, and that is, you know, is the goal, something that will benefit your life.
Speaker 2:Is it relevant? Is it relevant to helping you in life, does it?
Speaker 1:apply to your, to your world.
Speaker 2:To your situation.
Speaker 1:And then is it trackable. This is another important thing. How are you going to track your progress?
Speaker 2:That's important, yeah, because you need to keep up with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure, and so you got to have a way to do that. So let me share an example of mine, personal examples, just sort of to give you an idea. And when I, when I did this myself, it was pretty life, it was a very eye opening and enlightening. So back in the fall, I started a job. I was like done being stay at home mom and I needed something new in my life.
Speaker 2:It was. That's funny that you just said that it was eye opening, because it really was for you. I feel like Because, like you know, you do have days where you come home and you'd be like I had a little test today and stuff and I thought I did so well, but I got a 70 and then I'm like this is hard. I see where my kids get in and I was like after years, thank you.
Speaker 1:And help me see. You know, I'm not so perfect yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's hard yeah.
Speaker 1:But I love my job. I love my job at the bank.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's a teller position. It's, you know, and it's a great place for me to be right now and gets me out of the house as part time and anyway. So my goal? I was talking to my boss, you do these little reviews and and we decided one of my goals should be to be teller independent. So, because I'd be doing some of the teller duties and then I would stop and question myself or I, you know, reach over to reach out to him to come help me with something that I already probably knew.
Speaker 2:You just wanted to double check it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And so he said let's get you teller independent, and that means I could do all the duties or do teller duties on my own without asking for help. And so saying it that way is that specific I mean being to be teller independent. Is that specific?
Speaker 2:Yes and no, I don't know, it's kind of broad.
Speaker 1:Well, let's go to specific. So what is the essence? Smart says Is it quantitative, is it qualitative?
Speaker 2:I mean it also says what is the goal? Teller independent.
Speaker 1:Well, it is to be teller independent and that's great and that's a perfect goal, but let's get it more narrowed down. So we want to look at well, does that mean I'm going to do All my duties? Teller independent doesn't mean I want to do half of my duties, teller independent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wouldn't it mean you know all of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well for me, it meant for me yeah it could be different for everybody. Maybe after the next person is like I just wanna know 50 50% of the teller duties. Every possible thing I would have to do is a teller Would be into. I could do it independently.
Speaker 2:Like I said, start small, you know 50% for me.
Speaker 1:I went big, I said, I want all yeah, exactly so anyway.
Speaker 1:So that's. That's an example of how my turn turned out. I guess I got a little sidetracked here. So to be in teller independent, so what I meant was okay, I want to do all these things on my own. So it wasn't, it was very big. So I had to define teller independent and what that meant for me, like we just talked about, is I need to do all the duties Of a that a teller does independently. And then we go, we kind of skip ahead and then we go to trackable. So you want to look at is it specific, is it trackable? So you want the S and the T Is it trackable? It wasn't trackable because I didn't put a time frame on it right okay.
Speaker 1:so I would say no, it wasn't specific and it wasn't trackable. And then you also look at those, the M A R in the middle, and was it motivating? Yes, it was for me achievable, absolutely. Was it relevant? Totally. So those are fine, but I needed to get that specific and trackable better, and so what I came up with Was let me see if I were to be able to do all teller duties independently by May 20th of 2024, which would be my six months of working at the bank perfect. So I was able to really Define that better. Now I know my goal I'm going to be able to do all teller duties by May 20th by that day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, perfect and that feels very doable. Now I know I have a direction, I know what I'm doing yeah, so Love it.
Speaker 2:you have a path in front of you, so.
Speaker 1:Anyway. So I think, if we want to, greg, right now, maybe just take yours for example Go ahead and I'm just write your, your goal, down here. What for what did you say?
Speaker 2:getting back in the gym getting back in the gym okay getting back in the gym, okay.
Speaker 1:So I don't feel that that is specific and I don't feel that's trackable. So it's not specific because you're not saying what you want to do at the gym. I get that you want to go to the gym and you want to improve.
Speaker 2:Build muscle for Vegas of April 12. So you want to build muscle.
Speaker 1:you want to go back to the gym, so to build muscle, okay, where arms legs arms, I mean upper lower body, upper lower body, okay, both are important. Lower body Okay both are lower body and there's more specific there. How often do you want to go?
Speaker 2:I'd say that happen you.
Speaker 1:You've been to the gym before you really into it when you're at Maryharn Baylor.
Speaker 2:I'd say like three times a week.
Speaker 1:I'd say okay, so three times a week for you, okay, and by when? This is gonna be your trackable. So like oh yeah so we are going to trackable thing yeah oh, like, how will my progress be measured? So yeah, and when do you want to buy? When? When do you want to have this goal accomplished? I think we need to maybe define I'd say by like, by April, yeah. So so all right, listeners, greg and.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, me and my body are going to mom and dad and mom and dad. Let's not forget, we're going to Las Vegas for my 21st birthday, so it's going to be super fun, so. So, I want to get ready for that by prepping for the gym. So yeah there you go.
Speaker 1:There we go, all right, and we are leaving on the 12th of April, so I would say so by the 11th of April yeah or nah, I mean just by the month. April comes around, I don't want to be ready so by April one yeah, okay. Okay, all right. So you want to go to the gym three times a week in order to build upper and lower body muscles? Okay, and you? You? Is there a way to define how much you want to build? Is there? I don't know how to measure that, do you?
Speaker 2:I mean like. I mean you can see how your progress is with like weights over time. You know like, let's say, you start off and you get like a 25 pound bar at the beginning and then by April 1st. I'm doing like a 45 pound bar.
Speaker 1:I doubled it you know, so I can.
Speaker 2:I can track it by that sometimes.
Speaker 1:That's how I usually do it, so okay, so you're going to track it by how much your weight.
Speaker 2:Pretty much. How much, yeah, how much I'm using.
Speaker 1:How much you're using and and you would maybe like a weekly log, suppose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess, so Keep a weekly log. I mean, I kind of keep in my head like what?
Speaker 1:weight I do. You know it's kind of just in there. Okay.
Speaker 2:So it's like for bench I know what I can do and what I can't do.
Speaker 1:So okay, so if we were to rewrite this, can you help with that?
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:How would how would that look instead of getting back to the gym? Now, what would that look like? Um, we write.
Speaker 2:Building muscle by the beginning of April on my, I mean I guess just body or side. I don't have to say upper and lower, just on my body, Cause I mean I really work a lot of different muscles.
Speaker 1:So upper and lower. Well, okay, so build muscle mass.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:An upper and lower body by April. First, by attending the gym three times a week.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, perfect, yeah, and you don't. You know, you don't have to define. It's hard to define how much body, how much muscle you're going to build, because you that's just, that's going to be kind of what your body does, right? You can't really define that.
Speaker 2:It's not. You just know you're going to be building. It's not so low-defined, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:It's not a exact science there yeah, okay. Okay, wonderful, that's a great goal, thank you. So we got specific and now we have trackable. And is it motivating? Let's go back to the MAR in the middle. Is it motivating?
Speaker 2:Extremely.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, is it gonna be yes, gonna benefit, or is it gonna drain you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean looking in the mirror and just seeing the progress is motivating.
Speaker 1:So that's wonderful.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:That's, that's like yeah, that's your evidence right there looking mirror.
Speaker 2:Yeah pretty much.
Speaker 1:I love that. Okay, and then achievable. Is it a goal that's realistic, reasonable, achievable?
Speaker 2:easy. Is it in your?
Speaker 1:control. Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, is it relevant?
Speaker 2:Pretty much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's something that's gonna benefit your life.
Speaker 2:I got a trip coming up, so might as well look better for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got some pool time exactly.
Speaker 2:Fun.
Speaker 1:All right, wonderful, excellent. So, getting back to the gym, I think you defined it better by giving a time frame saying how many times a week you're gonna go and that you want to build body mass throughout your whole body. And you know, I'm just gonna focus on arms, you want to focus on the whole thing whatever yeah so so very good, very obtainable, very doable.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So I hope that helps you all. I know that's a lot of information I think we should move on to. So how do we stay motivated while we're working through these goals of ours?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:So the first thing we have three things we want to talk about. First thing is keep your eye on the end goal and. I Like to always picture and imagine what it will be like for me, so like I can't wait till I get, just get to whip through transactions with customers, I'm having a good time chatting it up and I don't have to worry about oh gosh, I forgot how to do this or oh, I don't know how to do this. You know, this is a confidence.
Speaker 1:No, exactly so so I always like to, you know, look at myself back, you know, in March or in I'm sorry, may and say you know I'm just whipping through. You know life will be easy, breezy, so, but also using, I think, positive self-talk. You know, while you're you're keeping your eye on the end goal, because sometimes we're gonna have a little setback, right?
Speaker 2:Reinforce yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Don't be too hard on yourself, because a lot of people are so. Yeah, exactly, I mean, at least we're working towards something, right?
Speaker 1:So and we are not perfect. God did not make us that way. So just to be able to say, hey, I maybe I didn't Work as hard today at the gym for you in your example.
Speaker 2:Everyone has an off day and that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you, you, I love that. Yeah you say that that's your little motto or mantra. You know that's okay, so I'm gonna do do a different next time. No, big deal, don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's sort of like keeping your picture, you know, being positive about it, don't, when you take a little step back, don't, don't be hard on yourself, right? So the second thing in staying motivated would be to set aside time to reflect. And you know, this is really good and it can be hard because we're not used to doing it and there's so much stuff from buzz going around all the time in our minds and we're thinking about things all the time. And but just to sit and spend a little time to reflect and, you know, turn off all that noise, just sit by yourself and quiet. And Do you have? I do, have some, I do, I do. What is it like driving in?
Speaker 2:my truck at night. I love it. Yeah, I just have like you know how I have the little inside lights on my truck. Sometimes we have like the colors that switch and stuff. I just get on some music or a podcast and just drive and it's just calming. So, yeah, I love it. So. And then I know you have like your morning time and stuff. I hear you sometimes, so you love that yeah, I do.
Speaker 1:I have my little time. I spend with God and and you know, and I think it's important during those times to times to think about you know what you struggle with and and the things that you want in life, because we all want things in life and we all struggle with things. So, you know, just to be open and to really put that out there and once you start thinking about those kind of things, you can start coming up with ideas on how to make those things different.
Speaker 1:For yourself yeah and so, yeah, I do that, I, I do keep a prayer journal and I I spend time with God and I just talked to him about what I've written down and, and it's pretty amazing, it keeps, keeps me on track for my day, but it also I feel like God moves me and keeps me going.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:On those things. And the last thing is, you know, to look for your successes along the way. So between now and then, greg, or?
Speaker 2:look at the little ups right.
Speaker 1:The little ups absolutely like for me between now and May. I mean, I already see a ton of changes and a ton of positive and and I need to focus on that To keep me to get through those days when I go oh, it was not so good today, so, but I had to remember that.
Speaker 1:You know I Do, I am successful, I'm learning and it's a continued path of growth exactly yeah but one, one example Recently I just want to share, greg and I noticed with our podcast We've been doing some work on it and you know, trying to, you know, bring in more listeners build a bigger community, yeah, and we recently we wrote our podcast description and we've seen an increase in downloads because of that and you know that's just so motivating and it makes me makes me and Greg Want to just keep working at ways that we can improve so that we can obtain our goal of reaching more people because, we want to help more people, so also seeing that the graph where we had the different listeners from different you know places and stuff that was pretty cool because we don't just have people in Texas and stuff, we have people from all over, surprisingly so all over the country and all over the world over the world.
Speaker 1:Actually, yeah, so it's pretty cool, yeah, and it just it's another, it's another encouraging Thing that will keep us wanting to keep doing more and more and more keep building, yeah because it takes a lot of effort and time to do what we're doing.
Speaker 2:You just like any goal you know.
Speaker 1:I don't want to minimize anybody. It takes effort and time and you got to look for those little successes along the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they're there.
Speaker 1:They are for sure there. Anyway, I hope this was helpful To y'all. I it's a lot of information. I'd love to figure out a way to get a and that will be coming next a Way to get like a document out there that talks about the smart system.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you know so that people.
Speaker 1:It's maybe a lot of information. Mostly just remember the s in the t specific and trackable. Mm-hmm and try to write your goal with those things in mind and then just make sure it's something that applies to you, that's important to you, and it's not gonna suck your time and drag you down, but it's gonna lift you up. Mm-hmm exactly and so anyway.
Speaker 2:Please make sure to subscribe, write a review and share with your people. Yeah this was a great episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you all for listening to. You are not alone.
Speaker 2:We really appreciate y'all and We'll catch you later, catch you later, yeah all right Take care.