You Are Not Alone With Debbie & Greg Gold

Forgiveness And The Call To Love

• Debbie and Greg Gold • Season 2 • Episode 11

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We walk through the hard work of forgiveness and how it opens the door to real love, sharing scripture, a personal family story, and practical steps that move the heart from resentment to peace. We reflect on spiritual gifts, identity in Christ, and daily habits that make love possible.

• why forgiveness frees the heart and mind
• key scriptures that guide forgiveness
• a candid story of loss and betrayal
• moving from anger to prayerful release
• loving people who have hurt us
• spiritual gifts and serving others
• identity in Christ as the anchor
• practical steps for daily forgiveness

Your call to action today, I would just urge you to take a moment to pray. Ask God to show you who in your life you need to forgive, and that He would give you the strength and the courage to take action on that.


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SPEAKER_00:

Hello, this is Debbie and Greg Gold, and welcome to the You Are Not Alone podcast, where we cover topics that will help you navigate life. And as Christians, we know that we can't do it alone. We need Jesus. We encourage you to join us on the journey that will help you begin or deepen your walk with Christ no matter where you are. Hello and welcome to another uplifting episode of the You Are Not Alone podcast with Debbie and Greg. And this week we are, well, I am discussing forgiveness and being called to love. And the two concepts of forgiveness and being called to love are really tied together because if you are in unforgiveness, you can't be loving. And if you love someone, you have to be in a forgiving place to have that relationship with him or with her. So, but anyway, before we get into all that, I want to uh talk about the highlight of the week for me. And that is a um the church I attend, City Reach Church. You've heard Greg and I talk about it on several occasions. Um, they built a brand new building and we had our dedication Sunday there last Sunday on the 12th of October. And um yeah, it it's pretty amazing. It was um, I think we were almost full, and it was twice, it's twice the size of the old church. And so I'm not sure how this is all gonna play out, but um, it was it was pretty exciting. And um, if you do live in the area, uh it's um on Whitestone, it's 2700 West Whitestone Boulevard in Cedar Park. Service times are 10:30, I'm sorry, 8:30, 10, and 1145. And if you don't live in the area, this is a good reason for you to come and visit. There's so much amazing stuff to do here in the Austin area. And um, I would encourage you to put that on your calendar somewhere and try to fit that in in your life. Um, and if not, you can always listen in online. Pastor Chris, he delivers amazing messages. And um the staff and the volunteers and the people that serve in the church, I mean, everyone does a phenomenal job and um very high standards in that church. And um, I want to share too that um I do I do serve there, and so um I get to know how many people actually come to Christ on any given Sunday. And we easily have over 100 people that accept Christ into their hearts every week. And um, yeah, God's doing some big work there, and um I'm just a really proud and honored to be a part of that. Also, I want to quickly give a shout out to my sister who is uh celebrating her birthday today. Happy birthday, sis. Hope you're um having lots of fun and spending um good times with your with your loved ones there back home. And sorry I can't be there this year, but yeah, last year I went um to go surprise her. Well, I don't she she heard about it or learned about it. But anyways, we had a great time being back there. Uh I went with my son and we ended up going to a Packer game at Lambeau Field, and we just had a great time. So, anyway, let's go ahead and start talking about what we're going to look at today. And um, I as I mentioned earlier, it's forgiveness, and it's probably one of the hardest things that we are called to do as Christians, but we are called, so let's go ahead and dive in. And we are also going to look at um loving others because we're called to do that as well. All right, so uh forgiveness, it's a it's a very powerful topic. It's a it's a very um sensitive topic, and it can be incredibly freeing, not just for the person that you forgive, but probably even more so for yourself. From my own personal experience, I know that um holding onto resentment, it can weigh us down. But when we choose to forgive, I think that we open ourselves up to the healing and to peace. And it's not easy. I promise you, it's it's hard. And some of you probably know what I'm talking about. But with God's help, I think it's possible to let go and to move forward. And what a great gift that is. So let me go ahead and read some scriptures that help uh that will help bring my point home. And maybe this will help you process the thought of forgiveness as you listen in today. All right, so what does the Bible say about forgiveness? In Ephesians 4 32, chapter 4, verse 32, it says, Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. I mean, that's the whole story of Christianity is that once we accept Christ into our heart, we are forgiven of all the sins, all the way we've hurt God's heart, all the way we've hurt other people, where we are forgiven. And God expects us to do the same. In Mark chapter 11, verse 25, says, and whenever you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you of your trespasses. And then in Colossians 3 13, it says, Bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. And in Proverbs 10, 12, hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. And that is just so true. Um hatred is not good for anybody, for yourself or for the person that you're feeling hate toward. Um, yeah, it's an it's a an emotion that really can mess with you. And then in Romans 3, 23, for all have sinned and fall fall short of the glory of God. So we have sinned. Other people may sin against us, but we we all do. And um, it kind of goes back to that. God forgives us, we are we are to forgive other people. So I wanted to um share a situation that was really tough for me, and I had a hard time forgiving the people that were involved in this. And um, you know, this is when I was pretty new at my my walk uh as a Christian and a you know, walk in my Christian faith. Probably had accepted Christ about four years prior, and then this thing happened in my family. And um, it was in 2008. My dad had passed away, and he'd been sick for about a year prior to that. And my dad and I became had become very um close after my mom passed away in 2001. And I would go, um, I was living in Texas at the time, and and they're up in Wisconsin, and I would go home every two or three months just to be with him. I felt he was depressed, and um he didn't have they did they didn't have much of his uh retirement savings, and he was living basically on social security, which was not a lot. And so, you know, every now and then I'd, you know, send him some money, or I would just go see him just to be with him, and we'd go, you know, do things together. And um, so we were really close. And then during that time that um dad had gotten sick that year, last year of his life, um my brother and I were sort of the ones that were kind of making the decisions together. Um I had um my other three sisters for whatever various reasons, they weren't really um able to be involved in uh the decision making. Um and everything seemed to be fine, I guess, for the f about the first six months. And we were really, you know, communicating and making decisions, and um, you know, it was it was good. And then time went on and it it kind of seemed like it that wasn't happening anymore. I was feeling that there was some disconnect between us, events took place that where he wouldn't tell me certain things were happening, and I'd later find out from my dad when I would talk to him, and I don't know, there it was just weird. And then um, you know, you can tell when things are happening, and dad and I talked less. Um not really sure how much I want to share here, but um I think fast forward to when he was passing um away, um he was in a uh he was on hospice and um they had moved, we had a lot of family coming, you know, uh in and out to see him, these grandchildren, and and I happened to be there at that time. Um and um they had moved because there were so many people kind of coming and going, they put hit put him into a room by himself which had a some furniture and a table and a couch, and um they would bring food in for the family, and you know, it was just really nice. And he was just hanging on. And I remember that the day before he passed that night. I had stayed there with him and I was laying on the couch, and the nurse had come in, and um she had said, I don't think he's gonna make it before noon. Well, my husband and my son Gregory, the one I do the podcast with, he was like five at the time. And um I called him and I said, guys, get on a plane, that or Mike, get on a plane as early as you can tomorrow. I dad's not passing, and everyone has been here to see him except for you guys. And I think he's waiting for you. And so they did, and I kept wondering, is dad gonna hold on? Is dad gonna hold on? And I kept, I told them, you know, they're coming, and and um I had a a nephew that lived in Madison, they picked him up, the my my Greg and Mike from the airport, and they got to the hospital and they walked in, and you know, ch Greg was like, he just went and looked at grandpa, and you know, and then he ran off to go find something, I don't know, play. And um Mike, you know, bent over dad and he said, you know, we had some good times, Harley, and you know, talked about drinking some beers together and you know, just laughing. And Mike was, you know, it was it was sweet. And um it wasn't more than I don't know how just minutes. And dad took his last last breath at that point. It was pretty uh remarkable. I mean, I think they were there maybe about 20 minutes, and then dad had passed. So um that leading up to there were some things that had happened. Um, my dad had changed the will without me knowing. Well, I knew he was going to, I just didn't know how he was going to. And so um, but as it turned out, everything was left to my brother. And I received a thousand dollars. None of the other girls got anything in the family, and um if anything had happened to my brother, everything was to go to my sister-in-law, not not me or not any of my other sisters, and um and that was pretty remarkable, and I felt really betrayed. I I I really didn't even want to go to the funeral. I was I was I was actually furious, and um, you know, my father had died and he had gone to heaven, and there was no way I was ever gonna understand why he did what he did. Now I have my um suspicions, but I don't want to get into that here, but um yeah, it was very painful, and so we did Mike urged us to, you know, make sure to go to the funeral. So we stayed to do that, and then I had a girlfriend of mine take us to the airport. We caught a flight out right after the funeral that day, and um, I just never wanted to come back. So um get a little teary, you know. I like I said, I felt betrayed, I felt cheated, I felt like these are my people. How does this happen, you know? And um I went to go. Um, well, I'm here I am at home, and I'm I'm just consumed by this, you know, this what happened here? No explanations. Why would he do that? You know, there was all this stuff. And I do want to share that there was some animosity and some, I think some jealousy going on between myself and my sister-in-law, my brother's wife. Um, kind of like we were vying for that daughter position, which it was mine, it wasn't hers. And, you know, and I think that had a lot to do with what happened at the end. But so I'm back home trying to, you know, I'm running all this stuff over and over, like a, you know, recording in my head of what happened and the events that took place up to all of that. And I really just couldn't understand. And um, I was sad. I was, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't work, I couldn't, I couldn't take care of my family, basically. And I um, you know, Mike suggested I go see a pastor at our church. And so I made an appointment and I went to go pe see Pastor Saul, and um, he starts talking about forgiveness, and he opens the Bible and he starts reading um some passages. And I mean, I was sitting there going in my head, uh, I'm supposed to forgive them. You know, how do I even wrap my head around that? How do I do that? They did some not so nice things to me. And I think there was probably more going on there than I even realized. And um I I I was just I walked away going, I don't know, you know, I I can't I can't understand how I'm supposed to forgive. And like I said, I I was really kind of a baby Christian at that point, so it was very foreign to me. And um eventually, you know, I don't know what happened. I know I miss my family a lot, and there was some other friction with some of the family members with Roger and Judy too. And so they were sort of we'd go home and visit and kind of stay with them. And um anyway, um I I guess I just miss my family so much. And so I decided that um I wanted my family back. And for that to happen, I needed to forgive and and go forward. And so that's how that sort of came to to be. But learning or allowing myself to forgive, it really wasn't easy, as you can probably tell from what I'm saying. And it certainly didn't happen overnight, right? And I had to lean on God and trust that his plan was bigger than my pain and my confusion and my misunder and my under, you know, lack of understanding of what there was going on there or why that happened. And really through prayer and reflection, I was slowly um I s I guess I slowly I just learned or I realized that forgiveness is less about the other person and more about freeing ourselves from bitterness and um pain. So the journey wasn't perfect, and step by step, I guess I began to understand that true love, Christ's love, calls us to uh let go and to open our hearts even to those who have wounded us deeply. So that takes me on to our next topic, which is we are called to love. And um in thinking about this, I I'm like, how on earth do we come to love people that hurt us? You know, that just feels so crazy and so foreign. But that's how God wants us to be, and to, and that's what he wants us to do, and that's what scripture says. And so that's what we're going to achieve or start moving toward um is to love people that hurt us. So at that time, I was truly in no place to love my brother and my sister-in-law. I think loath was probably a more appropriate word. But remember, being a Christian um was very new to me at that time in my life. And I feel like today um I'm so much quicker at rebounding to love when I feel I've been wronged or hurt. And um, so let's look at a couple scriptures in the Bible that talk about love. And the first one is Matthew chapter 22, verse 37 through 38. And it says, Love your Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and with all of your mind. This is the greatest commandment. And the first. And the second is love your neighbor as yourself. And then moving on to the next scripture is first Peter chapter 4, verse 8 through 11. And that says, Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. So I don't know how many of you listening are aware. We do all have spiritual gifts that are given to us by God. And we are to use these gifts to serve other people. And if you've never done a uh spiritual gift assessment, I would encourage you to do that. You can just do a search online for spiritual gift assessment or determining spiritual gifts, something along those lines. Um most of them are free. I think there's some that charge, but I just go for the free ones. They're just as good. And um yeah, so that it's kind of a fun little exercise. I know one of my spiritual gifts is teaching, and this is why I'm podcasting about God and issues. So um, yeah, let's God created us to live in the image of Jesus. And I want to tell you that you're beginning your faith if you haven't really taken that step, or even and then deepening your faith as you go along. It's a continual prog process. I've been doing this for 20 years, um, 21. And um have uh, you know, I have seen huge growth in my my spiritual understanding and how I carry out my life today. And um, there's a book that I'm currently reading, and I wanted to share this with you. It's um it's titled titled 31 Days of Praise. Um, and there was something I read in there recently that um it really pierced my heart, and I want to read that to you. It says, I am, and this is in well, we'll just leave that part out. Okay, it says, I am a new person in union with Christ, that I am one of your spiritual masterpieces, created clean and clear as a flawless jewel, and that you are cutting and polishing me to receive and display more fully the beauty of your glorious attributes. So definitely a process. But little by little we are able to obtain those um attributes that God wishes us to display, that He displayed, that Jesus displayed. And one of his glorious attributes is to love others and ourselves despite our sins and our mistakes, despite our shortcomings. And I urge you to offer this gift, this blessing to the people that you cross that cross your path today and every day. So love other people, regardless of the mistakes and the shortcomings. It's a gift to be able to do that for somebody and for yourself. And just so you um maybe get an understanding, I today I do pray for my enemies and I pray for those who wrong me, and I continue to love them anyway. And I gotta say, that feels so much better than holding on to resentment. So that is our show for today. Um, or mine or ours, I don't know. If you haven't already done so, please visit our website at Debbie and GregGold.com. Subscribe to um to get updates on us. And then um from there you can also like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram. So your call to action today, I would just urge you to take a moment to pray. Ask God to show you who in your life you need to forgive, and that He would give you the strength and the courage to take action on that. So we will see you back here next week. Thank you, God, for this episode. Thank you for our listeners. Thank you for the opportunity to serve you, Lord. And remember, Jesus is always with you and always present. You are not alone. We love you and have an amazing day.